an elephant is like a guy but its nose is the di**

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What's worse than finding a worm inside your apple? Finding an apple inside your worm.

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i found the cure to cancer.......AIDS

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What does an Israeli gun sound like? Jew, jew, jew, jew, jew

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One day a kid said to his mom: "Mom, I painted the bed sheets with your lipstick". So his mom got mad.

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I used to work as a human cannonball. I thought I was going to get fired, however during one performance the trajectory was miscalculated and I ended up severely damaging my spinal cord. I now work from home as a IT consultant. It's depressing.

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What did Abe Lincoln say after a 3 day drunk? "I set WHO free?"

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A man walks into a bar and the barman says "Why the long face?" And the man replies "I am severely deformed".

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In retrospect, I was wrong to microwave all those cats.

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Why did the robot cross the road? Because It was bionically fused to the chicken.

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Yo momma so fat, she's dead.

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Why did the asain fail his tests? They weren't math tests...

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Why did the boy fail the math test? He has a learning disability.

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what smells like a rose bud? a rose, bud.

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What's the difference between an airplane and a cantaloupe? What? Wow your a dumby head.

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Dog is walking through a park and is almost stepped on by a horse. Dog says, "Hey, watch where you're going!" Horse says, "Well, looky here! A talking dog!"

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Why was Timmy crying? Because he got raped.

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A man walks up to you and asks you:"What's funnier than a dead baby?" and then smiles, you then proceed to frown and tell him he needs to seek help. The next day you see his face on your TV

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Q. What did the chicken do when it lost its egg? A. It went to go look for it. Q. Why was the chicken scared of the duck? A. Because it was chicken Q.Why can't chickens fly? A. Because they don't want to Q.Why can't chickens swim? A. Because they don't want to Q. Whey do chickens cluck? A. Because they want to Q. Why did the chicken jump on top of a car? A. Because it knows how Q. Why doesn't a chicken have hands? A. Because it's not human Q. What did the chicken dream about? A. Chicken dreams Q. Why was the chicken lost? A. Because it wasn't found Q. Why wasn't the chicken afriad of the dog? A. Because the chicken was blind Q. Why doesn't the chicken know how to drive a car A. Because they don't need to

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Man walks into Malaysian Airlines "Hey, can I have the next flight to--" "This is our only policy! You pay the fare we pick the where."

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A man has a parrot who repeats everything the man says. He constantly complains about his mother-in-law and everytime he says her name it follows with the word bitch. One day she makes a suprise visit and he greets her with a "Oh hello Doris" , he looks in horror to see if the parrot will call her a bitch but instead finds the parrot dead because he forgot to feed it for 4 days.

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Q: How many babies does it take to paint a house? A: That depends how hard you throw them... Q: Whats worse than 10 babies nailed to 1 tree? A: 1 baby nailed to 10 trees...

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So a Jew is walking on the street and he sees a penny, and he decides to pick it up because ever since the fire that killed his family and burned his house down he has been living on the street and he needs all the help he can get.

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What do Gary Glitter and Michael Jackson have in common? They are both successful pop stars

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops