What did Nick Comado say to the black person? Hello I live at 317 North 12th Street, Beech Grove, Indiana, USA. PLEASE come murder me and my family

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Don't you hate when you finger your belly button and your nipples exploed?

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What do Lebron James and Bill Murray have in common? They are both black basketball players. Except for bill murray

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Three friends were walking to school, they all looked in front of them and ran away. What did they see? A 200 ft dragon eating their school.

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the baby fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the koala.

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What is green, has four legs, and if it falls out of a tree and onto your head, it will kill you? A pool table.

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What did the doctor say to his wife? We have grown apart over the years, I want a divorce.

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A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I can't believe it," the man exclaims, "I've died and gone to Heaven! I-" St. Peter interrupts him. "Not quite yet, my son. You must first answer three questions. You will only enter Heaven if I deem you fit to do so." The man nervously agrees. "All right. First question," St. Peter says. "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." "Splendid," St. Peter responds. "Did you attend church every Sunday?" The man loses some of his former confidence. "I may have missed the odd week." "That's fine," says St. Peter. "One last question... Do you believe you are worthy of entering the Gates of Heaven?" The man answers nervously, "Well... yes, yes I do." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

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Why did blonde drown? As a child a child she never learned to swim since she did not enjoy swimming.

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A man said to another man," you are so stupid you climbed a glass wall to see what was on the other side." The second man said," well you were on this side of the wall and I'm going to kick your ass." The second man had been drinking that night.

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Why couldn't Jimmy wash his hair? He has leukemia and therefore no longer has hair.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding an apple in your worm.

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A friend? Just a friend that you told to stop pretending to be me? And you had no idea whatsoever that I am Nero as in not one of the six hundred thousand wabbabes?

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What does a fish and a truck have in common? Nothing. One is a fish & one is a truck.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a bigger worm in your apple.

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Your mother is so fat, she developed diabetes and was rushed to hospital. She might not make it.

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How many light bulbs does it take to garner an unnecessarily large crowd of a single ethnic group of people working together to simultaneously replace said light bulbs and uphold their cultural stereotypes? What the hell's a light bulb? I'm a culturally illiterate Amish man.

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A girl is talking with her boyfriend - God, you're selfish!!! - No, i sell meat.

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Q: What's worse then 10 babies nailed to a tree? A: 1 baby nailed to 10 trees

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What did the fish want to drink? Charlie Brown

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"Knock Knock" "Who's there?" "Will farrow now gimme your hentai"

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Why couldn't the horse open the door? - Because it was locked...Beeeeeeeeeeeeeef Jelly

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Did you see Stevie wonders house? Neither did he.

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It's 4/20. You know what that means? Today is a Wednesday

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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