why was the frog sad..... because it was stappled to the boys face

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What did the old person find on the internet? Porn.

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What happened when the old woman crossed the road? A completely unrelated archery accident lead to the deaths of several people and thousands of dollars of property damage in another part of the country. The woman crossed without injury.

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Why did the man jump off the cliff? Because he suffered from chronic depression as a result of frequent drug abuse.

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I'd like to advertise the love of Jesus in Kobane. Do u join me next Monday? :D

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What's worse than getting no up-votes on an anti-joke? Getting down votes

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Wish me luck these are the ten numbers on my keno 19 65 80 2 34 72 68 22 12 8

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See what I did here? ;) Ladies, I just need some space okay? Damn Space Invaders... Ijustmetthespaceinvaderstheytookmyspace << DOUBLE MEANING!

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Why didn't the disabled kid cross the road? He didn't make it.

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"Imagine a World Without Free Knowledge" -I'm not imagining, thanks Wikipedia!

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How do you creep out a clown? Pet him softly and call him kitty kat while making a guttural sound that is not socially acceptable in mainstream American society.

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Yo mamas so dumb she has to repeat the 10th grade...again.

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Why didn't the little boy have arms or legs? Because they were savagely ripped off of him by a black bear on a very unfortunate camping trip.

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Q. What do you call a Widow's Husband? A. Dead...

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Josh Moran peels off his foreskin while watching gay porn.

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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Girl, why are you crying? I'm not a girl, I'm a strawberry.

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What did the man say to his wife before she made him a sandwhich? Do your job and make me a sandwhich.

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João Duarte reads this.

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write I if you think we should all yell A when dylan says orange.

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Q How do you make the fire fighter sad? A Kill his dog

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What do you call a man with no arms? Disabled... some people can be so cruel.

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why do elephants paint them selves green ..... to blend into snooker tables. have u ever seen an elephant on a snooker table .... thats just how good they are.

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What do you call it when Justin Bieber has sex with a woman? A miracle

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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