Part 1 Q: what did Sally get for Christmas A: cancer Part 2 knock knock Who's there Not Sally MR

thumb_up thumb_down -3

have u seen helen kellers dad? A: neither has she

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What happens when a unicorn gets her period? You know it's a girl.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? I lost my tractor.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

knock! knock! who's there? the police, your family died in a car crash!

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What do you call a cow who can't produce milk? Utter failure.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

what's the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? when you slap a mosquito it stops sucking:)

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did the buetiful woman marry the homeless man? True love

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What's the difference between scrambled eggs and scrambled dead babies? I don't like scrambled eggs..

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Wuy are Kenyans so fast? Because due to variations in evolution, people from that part of the world have a better muscle build to run at higher speeds than equally trained athletes from other parts of the world.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why are Asians yellow? Because that is their natural skin color

thumb_up thumb_down -3

why did the pancake eat a spanish holiday? Because a plane crashed into his condominium

thumb_up thumb_down -3

An alligator was found wearing a vest. The investigator had no comment... As alligators are incapable of speech. ^^^

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why couldn't the horse open the door? - Because it was locked...Beeeeeeeeeeeeeef Jelly

thumb_up thumb_down -3

what do you do when life gives you lemons? take them, free shit is cool!

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why couldn't the married couple have sex? They were lesbians who were saving up a sex change.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why didn't the woman make sandwiches? She was making baguettes.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

why is walmart so big? Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping and affordable low prices. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory that a typical person should or could ever possibly need all in one place.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What's worst than the finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust. What's worst than the Holocaust? Finding two worms in your apple. What's worst than finding two worms in your apple? Finding seven dead babies in a trash can. What's worst than that? Finding one dead baby in seven trash cans.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

We just got a letter We just got a letter We just got a letter I wonder who it's from Oh look, it's a letter from our friends If there is a place you got to go I am the one you need to know I'm the Map! I'm the Map! I'm the Map! If there is a place you got to get I can get you there I bet I'm the Map! I'm the Map! I'm the Map! I'm the Map! I'm the Map! I'm the Map! I'm the Map! I'm the Map! I'm the Map! I'm the Map! I'm the Map! I'm the Map!

thumb_up thumb_down -3

An alcoholic walks into a bar.... I forgot the rest of the joke but your mother is a prostitute.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Was in a coma, survived trough smoke and mirrors, and I had 3 separated sections of my order in order to test the efficiency of my words, united we are about 6.800.000 people. Excuse my anger below, I mean I was in a coma and ended up on some hard painkillers, and while I am still tapering down on a "totally medicinally safe" dosage of 20 mg valium its a bitch, even for a guy that enjoys a mild painkiller every now and then in order to focus. Excuse my excessive typing, its paincontrol vs the stress and all 64 side effects of valium. I am alive, and my followers know that, I do not mean to brag, but Neronism tends to end up fucked up when I am gone with people trying to live up to what only I can do apparently, so I decided it was time to mash the separate groups together... Btw, we live at point zero now, if you do not know where that is, I can inform you at later time. But be quick about it if you have more questions, we only chat on horsehead due the "discussed hours"

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Josh is sooo great at blowing, xoxo Dylan Hodge.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Doctor Doctor, I keep getting horrible boils all over my face! Okay then. Take off your underwear and we'll see what's going on.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops