Wanna hear a joke? (Yeah, sure) So do I, got any?

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What's yellow and can't swim? A tractor.

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If I said you had a beautiful body would you stop asking me if those jeans make you look fat?

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A man is walking down the beach and he spots an antique looking lamp in the sand, he picks it up and rubs it. Nothing happens and the man begins to cry realizing that his life is so dismal and pathetic he was ready to believe he had found a magic lamp. He proceeds to run into the water and bash himself senseless with a large rock until he passes out and drowns.

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why was the kid crying his dad is a alchoholic

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A Rabi, a priest, and a monk all go to different churches because they all have different beliefs an respect each others decisions.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? because i shot him. Why did the bird fall out of the tree? he was in front of the monkey

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it died.

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Spot the mistake: a) x+2= 5 => x=3. b You.

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How do you fit 500 babies into a phone booth? With a blender. How do you get them out? Nachos (make a dipping and snacking motion).

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got hit by a bus on the way over.

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How Does My cat have Sex? With Me.

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Your mom is soo fat that when God said "let there be light" he had to ask her to move

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What's facial hair? Hair that slowly progresses to grow out of certain areas on your face.

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Customer Service "May I help you?" "Yes."

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What had 82 eyes, 7 mouths, and sings the blues? Nothing, the described creature does not exist.

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How did Justin Bieber die? He didn't. And we all need to stop making fun of that poor boy.

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How do you confuse an English Professor? Light your pants on fire and flop around like a fish.

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What do the Africans have for breakfast? Nothing.

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if john has 400 cookies and eats 300 what does he have left? diabetes

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A blonde, redhead, and a brunette are about to be executed by a firing squad. Before they shoot the brunette, they ask if she was any last words. “Look, a tornado!” Then they shoot her.

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"Knock Knock" "Just ring the bloody bell for once!"

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what did the guy think who woke up with his hands and feet nailed to a barn. IS THIS BECAUSE IM BLACK!

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What did one apple say to the other? Nothing, it is scientifically proven that apples can't talk.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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