knock knock who's there? your destiny

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I used to work as a human cannonball. I thought I was going to get fired, however during one performance the trajectory was miscalculated and I ended up severely damaging my spinal cord. I now work from home as a IT consultant. It's depressing.

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Why didn't 6 like 7? Because 7 was a huge racist.

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why did bill gates sue his banks? Because he can

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What time is it in China right now? I have no idea, it would depend on when you are reading this. Perhaps you should look at a world clock, watch, or some other sort of time-telling device rather than humorous website. Its purpose is not to tell time. However, there are many other places for this. Good luck surfing the web, friend. I have aided you the best that I can. I only hope that you will find what you are looking for.

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How many plumbers does it take to unscrew a lightbulb? Plumbers don't do that. Electricians do.

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What did the blond say to the other blond? "I like your shoes."

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mary poppins' handbag is full of dick

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Whats blue and fuzzy? Blue fuzz. Whats pink and fuzzy? Blue fuzz that's embarrassed.

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What did the kid with no legs get for Christmas? A Pogo Stick

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How did leatherface cut a tree when he lost his chainsaw? He just asked a friendly neighbor to borrow him a axe

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Q. Where do all funny jokes come from? A. The people who made them up

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Q: How do you kill a Brazilian Blind Electric Ray? A: Killing endangered species is a crime.

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What do you call a man who's a gynecologist, painter and respected martial arts champion? Talented.

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was DEAD! But why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was stapled to the first monkey... But then why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? P-p-p-p-eer pressure

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Why was the man sent to the hospital? He got crushed by a flying refrigerator.

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What happens when you run over a mexican? The country gets one less illegal immigrant.

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"Roll back into the kitchen and imagine me a sandwich!" yelled the abusive husband to his paraplegic wife.

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How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2. One to firmly hold the ladder and the other to cautiously screw it in. They are volunteering at the local orphanage and it is wrong to make fun of there religion. We are all different in our own special way. ernkso

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What is a black guys favourite thing to eat? Food.

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Q: How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Enough.

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why did the boy get hit by a bus because he dropped his ice cream

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Whats worse than tripping? Getting shot

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Q: Where does Cher sit? A: I have no idea.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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