Why are Indians so bad at football? Curry

"Would you like to see our stool samples?" asked the salesman. 10 minutes later, I left with 3 new bar stools.

Whats worse than the Holocaust? A second one

A man runs into a bar and yells "Ow!!" He is hospitalized due to severe trauma to the head and spine.

Q: How do you keep a blond occupied for an hour? A: You write "flip over" on both sides of a blank piece of paper.

Why are the deserts so dry? Obama

Q: how do u make a fireman cry? A: set his wife on fire

What did the zero say to the eight? I don't know,numbers are inanimate objects so they can't talk.God, what did you think?

Knock Knock Whos there? Knock knock? Whos there? Knock knock. WHOS IS THERE?!?!? Knock Knock is, my name is Knock Knock.

Why are you gay? Because ***** you

Why was the man crying? He just got called and the doctor confirmed he had AIDS.

What's brown and ryhmes with snoop? Dr. Dre

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Parkinsons, ;oshgfs;jgbRHG

Once upon a time, there was a boy. He was 12 years old. He is dad was rich from his business and so when it came time for his 12 year old boy to turn 13 he insisted on buying the boy whatever he wanted. He thought that the imagination of a 12 year old boy might in fact humour him, even if the cost of such a present reached the millions. He asked his son "Son, a very special day's coming up", his son smirked "I know Dad". "Well, what would you like?" asked the Dad. His son pondered for several seconds before replying, "honestly Dad, all I want it 12 Pink Ping Pong balls". The Dad, curious and a little disappointed asked "of course son, but why?". His son replied "I can;t say, I'd just like them for my birthday please". And so on his thirteenth birthday, he indeed received 12 Pink Ping Pong balls. His Dad thought nothing of it until next year, when he asked his son "what would you like for your birthday this year son? A new 82-inch Tv for you toilet, or how about a new jet?". His soon blew the hair out of his eyes and said, "Dad, all I want is room full of Pink Ping Pong balls". His dad again agreed but asked "why Pink Ping Pong balls son?". His son replied "I'll tell you when I get them". True to his word when the boy turned 14, he received a whole room full of Pink Ping Pong balls and his Dad asked him "now why did you want them son". But his son replied "I'll tell you next year". Rather reluctantly his Dad agreed. and then he died.

Why was the black man picking cotton from the backyard? Because he enjoys gardening as a hobby, and prefers to do it every Sunday, after work.

How can you ruin someone's day? Tell them their mother has cancer. No really, I found out my mom has cancer a week ago.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Um...thats impossible because chickens live on farms theyre are no roads....

Okay, you seem sincere enough, thing is that I trust you, but your buddies, if you can vouch for them, then I at least know that you are putting your stepmother in danger if you decide to cover for your friends, besides you being such an emotional crybaby kinda gets me into trusting you again.

knock knock whos there? ughh omg youre dying what yeah dear god ok ill call 911 no im fine its just a seizure ok get well soon

who do you call when you see a ghost in your apartment? The Mental Hospital.

Yo mama is so short, she has trouble reaching the top shelf.

Who won the race between the turtle and the hare? Well, odds are the two creatures wouldn't race given that animals do not speak. However, if they were, the hare would most likely win a land race because of its powerful legs and agility. However, if the turtle happened to be a seaturtle and the race took place underwater, our dear little beloved turtle would win, having the advantage over the rabbit.

A black man walks into a bar full of white people. And then... He orders his drink.

http://cache.deadspin.com/assets/resources/2008/04/Deer_mating2.jpg

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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