how long does it take chuck norris to watch a 24 hour video 24 hours

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I'm typing this one handed... ... Because I'm an amputee.

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Why did the 15 year old commit suicide? Because his parents and 3 sisters died in a car accident and he went to live with his uncle, who constantly raped him.

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What's the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa Clause? Tiger Woods is a well-known golfer and Santa Clause is a mythical man who delivers presents to young children.

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why does Tom Sawyer like apples? He likes their flavor

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An alligator was found wearing a vest. The investigator had no comment... As alligators are incapable of speech. ^^^

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whats black & white the colombo school shooting citv footage

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If I could slow down time I would have become a super criminal or something, no, my movements become slower also, ever heard of a game Max Payne? The character can slow down his perception of time and still aim his gun normally while he himself moving at the same speed as the rest. I well... when time seems to go slower, my thoughts do not, so yeaaah, Except my fast reactions also make me wear myself out faster to the point where I got injured a lot as a kid, like smacking my wrist against arcade games and stuff, broke my wrist, as a teen, still hurts when it rains, yeah weird but true.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have Alzheimer's And add extra pepperoni

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roses are red violets are blue. they both smell like flowers

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Mother: "George what happenend to your pet rock?" George:"I dont know." Mother:"Here! I found your pet rock. It was in the same place it was before!"

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Q: what do you call a deer with no eyes A; roadkill

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Roses are grey Violets are grey I'm a dog

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Roses are red Violets are blue This website is dumb Your mom is going to kill you

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Why did the blonde walk into the bar? To get a beer.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The horse replies, "My wife is dying of terminal brain cancer."

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My uncle told me that slow and steady wins the race. He died in a fire.

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What is the difference between a dead baby and a bowling ball? You can't pick up a bowling ball with a pitchfork.

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Your moms so fat she weighs 200 kilograms

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what did the grandma do after she was pushing up daisies? washed her hands because gardening is a dirty activity

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I just threw up..In my pants.

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What is the worst party ever? Nazi.

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A black man walks into a bar He looks at the menu and realizes he's in a bar, so he leaves

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What do you call an apple, an orange, and a pear in a bowl? Fruit

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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