In Soviet Russia, blonde is smart

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What city likes baseball the most? New York

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Why didn't Johnny ride his bike to school today? Because it is Saturday

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What happened to the orphan? Who cares?

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An old bear-wrestler dies and finds himself at the pearly gates. Confused and at a loss for words due to the unfamiliar circumstance and lack of public toilets, he blurts out "Saint Peter, I presume?" but it was just the train conductor. "Ticket please." He searched his pockets and finally found the ticket. He wished he had a dog, but not a seeing-eye dog because people would assume he was blind. This story illustrates the importance of situational awareness, remembering which pocket you put your ticket in, and not forgetting to go before you leave because you don't know when you'll be able to find a restroom.

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A mexican, an Aisian, and a black guy are fighting in a dumpster. Who wins? The Mexican, why? Home court advantage!

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What is orange and smells like oranges? Oranges.

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You can pick you're friends, you can pick you're nose, but you can't run over a pedestrian.

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What did the orphan say to his parents? nothing

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Yo momma so old that she should be concerned about mesothelioma and asbestoses, as she may have lived during a period of increased asbestos use. She may also be at risk of osteoporosis and should take vitamin supplements daily to improve her rapidly deteriorating health.

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what did the boy say when his friend was having a panic attack? "don't panic!" rather earnestly in the hope that his friend's breathing returned to normal as panic attacks can be very uncomfortable and place too great a strain upon the cardio and respiratory functions.

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The Below statement is an antijoke. The Above statement is a joke.

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How do you know you're crazy? Consult the pink pheasent to your left

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What's sweet and tastes like candy? Candy, now get in the van.

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Q: Why was the boy sad? A: An Elephant was sitting on his face

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Knock knock. Who's there? Fire extinguisher. Fire extinguisher who? POMEGRANITES.

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Three men were lost in a desert when a genie appeared and granted them each a wish. they died of dehydration shortly afterward, never realizing they were hallucinating.

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karn chevalier

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9 + 10 = How much yo mama makes.

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What do you call a schizophrenic Clown surrounded by 10,000 Amish gangsters, all armed with dildos? I don't know, but it would be a heck of a sight, wouldn't it?

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why was 7 afraid of 6?that is impossible it is older than six and stronger than its mother

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What did one ginger say to the other? W are both gingers.

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What do you call a dog with two tails? ...Depends what its name is.

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Why don't women drive more? Because statistically the man offers to drive more frequently

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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