Why did Sally drop her ice cream? Because she got hit by a bus Knock Knock Who's there? Not Sally

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why is the chicken dead? It tried to cross the road.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the chicken cross the road? Orange you glad I didn't say banana?

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Two pretzels were walking down an alley way, one was assaulted. In a instinctive move, the other quickly ran away and alerted the authorities. The assaulted pretzel was severely injured but slowly recovered covered from physical trauma and has now sought professional help to deal with it's great deal of post traumatic stress.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because her dad pushed her too hard -Knock knock -Who's there? -Suzie, I'm dead now with a knife through my neck and I'm ready to kill you since you didn't forward that chain letter, now hold still so I can chop off your toes one by one and peel your skin off then leave a bloody mess for your parents -k

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why was the prostitute unsuccessful? because she had no vagina

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why are leprechauns so happy? The grass tickles their balls

thumb_up thumb_down +5

why did everyone laugh at the kid in the wheel chair as he entered the room? he was poor

thumb_up thumb_down +5

In soviet russia, child molests you! Unfortunately true

thumb_up thumb_down +5

why does her hair shine so nicely? she uses good shampoo.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A duck walks into a bar and asks for a beer. The bartender realizing this is an odd situation, seeing that ducks cannot articulate the English language, realizes he must be dreaming. He wakes up and turns to tell his wife about the dream, but she won't respond. He then realizes how his marriage is in shambles...

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What did the boyfriend give his girlfriend for Valentine's Day? AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why is it unpleasant to eat a meal with lots of basketball players? Because they will be focussing entirely on discussing tactics (especially if there is an upcoming game), and therefore will probably not be displaying good manners or making polite mealtime conversation.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What did the baby get for his birthday? An Abortion.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A Hispanic walks into an alleyway and sees two of his rich friends. He desperately needs money and only has enough time to shoot one of them because he sees the police following him. He decides which one to shoot... Wait, if he has enough time to think about this shouldn't he just shoot both of them?

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How do you make an elephant float? Who cares?

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the car? Robin, get in the car.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What happened when the engineering student studied for a physics final? They failed.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

******************************************************** Okay, so there were two muffins in the oven. One muffin said, "Oh my gosh! We're gonna die!" The other muffin said, "Whoa a talking muffin!" **********************************************************

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry and lost man passes by and considered eating one of the muffins. Unfortunately he can't make a decision in time and took of in his 4-wheel drive. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin the camel ate was poisoned. The now not so hungry and lost man looks at the dead camel and noticed the zoo is almost closing now. So he left in a hurry, to cook for his family.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Hey look i just made a jo... shit.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Who looks like Bill Cosby, Smells like Bill Cosby, But isn't Bill Cosby? An imposter who should be sent to jail.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops