Why was the wife disappointed in her husband? He hasn't been very talkative since the suicide.

What does it mean if you have 5$ and Chuck Norris has 5$? Congrats! You both have five dollars!

Why was the blonde on the train tracks? Because she was tied up by a madman on crack.

If life gives you lemons, You throw them as hard as you can at the nearest stranger. If life gives you melons, You're probably dyslexic.

It was Jimmy's 18th bday so his parents let him have the house to himself. He ate shrooms, fucked his turtle, then had his dick bitten off.

Knock knock Whose there? Nobody Nobody who? ......................................

How do you rape someone? No, its a question. I don't know the best way to go about this.

What is purple pink and goes over 10000 miles per hour. Barnney in a tornado

How many lawyers does it take to screw in a lightbulb One because lawyers are usually well educated and know how to screw in a lightbulb

who is not good looking? mon morello

Knock knock. Who's there? Boo. Boo who? Boo Radley.

What's the new green? Green

What do you call a giraffe driving a car? A danger to society.

What does a person with Alzheimer's do? To get to the other side.

how many high school boys does it take to change a light bulb?? idk the light bulb in my bathroom is out and i need to know how many boys to call over to fix it.

why was the toddler sad? he was diagnosed with cancer after his dog was put down because it raped and murdered his parents

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead

Knock Knock Who is there? Orange Orange who? Orange-Banana

What did silly Billy with no arms get for Christmas ? Gloves.. why did silly billy fall off the swing? He got hit by a microwave.. Why did silly sally fall off the swing? She had no arms.. Knock Knock Whos there? Not sally..

what do you call a dog with no legs? whatever his owner named him it is a shame he can`t run and play with other dogs.

Whats brown and rhyme's with "Snoop?" Dr. Dre

If you share rice between 30 Africans what do they each have? Aids.

A man walks into a bar with an octopus. He tells the bartender that his octopus can play any instrument. The bartender gives the octopus bag pipes. The octopus fiddles with the bag pipes but can't seem to play them. The man gives the bag pipes back to the bartender and leaves with his octopus. He is quite embarassed and decided to get bagpipe lessons for his octopus.

How did the mouse die It was eaten by a cat How did the cat die It jumped into the bathtub and drowned

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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