Your Mom is so fat.... When she's goes to McDonald's and orders 3 Big Macs the people standing in line behind her all look at her with disgust and a tinge of pity.

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When life gives you lemons, you make lemonade. Well, that's going to be some horrible lemonade if life doesn't also give you water and sugar.

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A horse walks in to a bar. The barman says: "Why the long face?" The horse does not reply because it is a horse and can neither speak nor understand English. The horse is startled by it's surroundings and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables on it's way out.

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A kid walks into a bar and the bartender yells, "Get Out!"

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You're mom is so slutty, she has sex with many men.

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Hurr durr, I shit my pants.

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What's brown and smells like paint? -Poop. I don't know why it smells like paint though..

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roses are red, violets are red, ive been shot in the eye with a pelet gun, please ,please help

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Why did the Mexican mow the lawn? He needed money to feed his family and to pay for his daughter's college education.

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Why did a black man toss a bowl into the air? Because he just got it from the microwave and it was extremely hot.

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Why dont you greet your friend Jack on a plane? because you will say "hi Jack"

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Do you know what's hilarious? Not rape.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the idiot's house. "Knock Knock" "Who's there?" "The chicken"

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Why can't Helen Keller read? Because she's a woman

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Why did Susie fall off the swings? Because she was hit by a truck.

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Nothing.

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theres a taco and a blonde...who eats who? the blonde eats the taco.

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a tree There isn't a tree in my garage

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What has three legs, one eye, and is green and fuzzy. I don't know. Me either.

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We are few Nero, too few, if I want to split my money with you, would it help you find true happiness?

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It is the conjoining of the two possible outcomes of the interstellar and post modern possibilities of the pasta sex god's niece's favorite colour after she falls off her bike whilst riding down a yellow slide after her twenty-seventh birthday when the two suns form a triangle in the night sky over the delta. Yes indeed that was good pudding.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a clown, and clowns are scary.

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Say the line below all very fast to get sudden strange sensation... Magic-ish. I like to find threes and peel of their... BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK... ...BARKBARK BARK BARK BARK BARK! Done? Now sit Down, have a little treat Good boy/girl! :Look well at the sun, the jagged Blackness will consume all, Your little star forever but a ever fading memory.

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Why did the bus crash? Because the bus driver was a potato.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops