How does a cancer patient bathe? He can't because he lives in an arid climate where water is scarce.

Why was the boy seeing stars? It was night time.

What did the horse say to it's owner? It didn't horses can't talk

The boy gets shot in the face, he then dies of childhood obesity.

9-11 please state your emergency. My house is flooding! Dad, youre in the swimming pool.

Bang Bang Get the hell out of the house, it's on fire.

What did Jesus Christ say to John the Baptist? Nothing. He didn't exist.

What's worse than a dog peeing on your new flower garden? A terrorist attack.

SEX IS LIKE MATH ADD THE BED SUBTRACT THECLOTHES DIVIDE THE LEGS AND PRAY U DONT MULTIPLY!!!!

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding an apple in your worm.

Quinn Grifith Randel lives in Roswell, GA

A brunette, a redhead and a blonde are on the run from the police. They see a barn, and decide to hide inside it. They find three burlap sacks, and each hide in one. The police enter the barn, arrest each of the girls, and sentence them to life imprisonment for murder.

Beached whale: "Look at me, I'm a land mammal"

"What's black when clean, but white when dirty?" "A blackboard."

There's two muffins in an oven, the first muffin says "Woah, it's really hot in here!". The second muffin says "Oh my God! A talking muffin!"

There are 3 types of people, those that can count and those who can not.

What can never be seen by the owner, looks like Jesses mom, and smeels like shit. Jesses dick.

A black man is running down the street with a purse in his hand. He was trying to catch up to the old woman who forgot it at the restaurant. She was very grateful.

Q:If quizes are, "guizicles," then what are tests? A:Who calls quizes, "quizicles?"

What's green and eats rocks? A green rock eater What's purple and eats rocks? It hasn't been discovered by science yet...

What time is it? 2:47 PM.

How do you offend a black person? Call him a nigger.

A horse walks into a bar and orders a drink. What does he order? Nothing. The horse was incapable of speaking English then shat on the floor, kicked over a chair and then left.

Haikus are easy. But sometimes they don't make sense. Refrigerator.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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