why was 7 afraid of 6?that is impossible it is older than six and stronger than its mother

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Why don't women drive more? Because statistically the man offers to drive more frequently

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a man walks into a bar, only it was an alternate universe so there were dogs running the bar. the bartender dog called human control because it was unsanitary to have a human in a bar. the human was then escorted out by another dog and was taken to a hotel where he received no continental breakfast.

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roses are red, violets are blue, {insert name here} is f**ked up, (s)he want to have sex with you

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kennah campion... being nice

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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Skeletons neither have muscles nor brains to control any muscles and therefor cannot transport themselves across a road or any stretch of land for that matter.

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Pianos.

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Why did the mother stop breastfeeding her son? Because he was twenty five.

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So I'm balls deep in this 9 year old...

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What has red dots and is yellow all over A poisonous frog

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knock knock... who's there... i dont know i aint got a house

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because I hit her with a shovel.

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Why did Mia fall off of Lucy's bike? Because Lucy didn't like Mia and shot her in the face.

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Wanna hear a dirty joke? ... A boy played in mud.

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What is "race car" spelled backwards? rac ecar.

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Why did the black man fall down the stairs? Because he was blind

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What do you call a straight A student that takes 6 Vicodin's, 5 Percocet's, and 7 Adderalls? I don't know, but he will most likely die of drug overdose.

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Q: What did the cop do when he saw a mexican in his car? A: Nothing, he was looking in a mirror.

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Why cant kellen heller drive? She was born with the disabilities of being blind and deaf, thus rendering her unable to operate a vehichle.

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what is black and green and rainy all over? the democratic republic of congo

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was holding on to the first one. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Pier pressure.

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A fat black guy walks into a pet store and asks if he can have a chicken. The cashier says "what do you want a chicken for?" He says " I need to lose weight so I'm hoping to eat its all natural eggs" So the cashier gives him the chicken and the fat black guy lost 50 pounds.

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What kind of pizzas did they last order at the World Trade Center? Pepperoni

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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