What do you call a person with no legs and an eyepatch? Names.

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I'm not saying my mother-in-law is fat, because she is anorexic.

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You know what they say about fat thumbs? They give a lot of accidental comment likes on statuses.

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Doctor, doctor! I think I've got an ear infection. I best give you some medicine.

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so....a guy is sitting on the couch looking out his living room window and a cab pulls up and honks..he says to himself, "wow that was quick, i just called for the cab 5 minutes ago!"

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Why did Joe not cross the road? Because the Pedestrian Crossing light said not to.

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My Friend Philip had his lip removed today. he is just Phil now.

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Why was little Jessica missing?? She was stuck in the freezer.

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Q: Why was the little girl cowering in a closet in a corner. A: Because there was a murderer/rapist in her house with her oarents gone.

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So 2 black guys walk into a bar and the bartender looks around and say "what will you fine gentlemen have?" and they order and payed their tab and could not have been more courteous, amirite?

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I like my sex how i like my steak Pink and Bloody

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Knock knock. Who's there? Big Brother. Big Brother who? That's right. ALL are who, Akbar!

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What does Yoko Ono say while rehearsing her song before a concert? She gives directions to the band.

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cops:knock- knock person: who's there? cops: the cops person: the cops who cops: we found the body #Casey Anthony

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Why was the interracial marriage unsuccessful? Because several social factors have challenged the couple as they live in a rural part of the South and interracial couples generally aren't as accepted in those areas as in progressive city centers.

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A blonde walked into a bank. She deposited her check, thanked the teller, and promptly left.

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what can you give to a millionaire to make him happy? sex

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Q:What do you call a cow with no legs? A:A hamburger.

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You know what's a real drag? A club foot

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What did bob say when he was told his beloved parents were dying? "oh"

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Did you hear about the kidnapping in Milwaukee? They woke him up.

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how do you stop a black man from drowning take your foot off his head

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Why cant Helen Keller driver? She's a woman

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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