What did the cow say to the butcher? At least I'm not a Jew.

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an irishman walks past a bar a.w. j.p.

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NEVER

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A kid walks into a bar and the bartender yells, "Get Out!"

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When life gives you lemons, you make lemonade. Well, that's going to be some horrible lemonade if life doesn't also give you water and sugar.

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A Mexican guy, a black guy, and an ISIS member walk into a bar. The black and Mexican men, realizing the potential danger in the situation quickly exit the bar and alert the proper authorities. $

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What do you call a yelling, enraged Asian man? A fucking asshole.

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What did the Mexican say to the Pirate? Can I have a pound for my bus, pal?

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hey hey hey wanna hear a joke.....................................MENS IQ!!!!!!

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What did the pillow say to it's owner? Nothing. Pillows are not able to talk.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey, horse, we don't serve your kind here." The horse turns around and walks out. 10 minutes later, the horse returns. "Hey horse," says the bartender, "I said we don't serve your kind here!" The horse turns around and walks out. 10 minutes later, the horse returns. "Hey horse, are you deaf? I said we don't serve your kind here!" The horse turns around and walks out, knocking over a stool with his tail.

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Did you hear about the two guys that stole a calender? They each got six months.

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I had vodka + water and got drunk. had rum + water and got drunk. had gin and water and still got drunk. I've learnt my lesson. NO MORE WATER FOR ME

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Yamum is so poor that she has trouble supporting herself and paying her own bills. Subsiqeunetly she had her electricity and home phone cut off, not that she would have any use for a home phone with her electricity cut off anyway. She sits on her bed and cries herself to sleep each night and has been thrown into depression due to her spiraling financial debts of which she can see no end to. This has led to several attempts to take her own life to hopefully finally find a way out of her misery and debt.

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How did the car get a dent? Terrorists bombed the house next to it

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What do you get when you cross a dog with a cat? Nothing, it is impossible to mix 2 different animals

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Roses are red Violets are blue this doesn't rhyme i like trains.

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I was wondering why the ball was getting bigger. Then I got stabbed.

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Have you seen stevie wonders house? neither has he.

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Why does Amy leave Dan? Dan gets hit by a bus.

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My daughter got a kinder surprise with cool toy today..... i killed her i didnt even want the toy

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Try this on some random person on the street... You: "Excuse me sir, do you know how to get to Farnsworth Street?" Man: "Sorry, no" You: "OK, you go straight ahead, then turn left on the second street. Continue about 200 feet, then......"

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What did the Colombian say to the Peruvian? Quieres lleyo?

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Why did Timmy mow the lawn? He didn't particularly like the way it looked Why did Timmy fall down the well? He is retarded and thirsty How did Timmy die? He had stage three lung cancer Why cant Timmy drive a car? He has been dead for three years

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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