Why did the chicken cross the road? It's really irrelevant when you realize this joke is about a suicidal chicken...

what is the difference between an octopus and a dead dolphin? one as tentacles the other is dead.

Why did Romney loose the election? Because Obama had more votes

What's green and eats nuts? Syphilis.

why did kermit cry?Ms.Piggy knocked him out on Christmas and he slept through the party and all of the presents

Why is the sky blue? You like men.

whats funnier than a banana an orange -may bieber

Jack and Jill went up the hill, to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down and broke his crown, and Jill came tumbling after. Up Jack got, and home did trot, as fast as he could caper, to old Dame Dob, who proceeded to get Jill convicted of attempted murder, as well as several millions of dollars for pain and suffering.

So, what happens when Germany attacks France? France proceeds to slaughter the attackers mercilessly, as it was during the Feudal Ages, a time when France was Europe's superpower.

Me: What's the difference between a zebra and a slice of cheese? You: I don't know Me: Me neither

Why did the 2 black kids jump the barb-wired fence To get to the other side

2 bald men are standing on an oval, one turns to the other and says "leukemia."

A middle aged woman walks into a bar. Its Friday and there is a breeze in the air. She leaves shortly thereafter.

Your mama is so fat, we are all severely concerned for her health

What do you call a black person flying a plane? A pilot.

Roses are potatoes Violets are potatoes I like potatoes Potatoes.

What did the businessman do to get a promotion? He traded oral sex for his male bosses kind heart...

A man came home one day, drunk and feeling horny. He proceeded to the bedroom where he found his wife just getting into bed in a lace bra and sexy underwear. This turned him on even more so he cuddled up to her and whispered seductivly in her ear before kissing her neck. His wife was not in the mood for sex so she shot him

Why did the chicken cross the road? For a legitimate reason

What's the difference between a picnic table and a Mexican? A picnic table can support a family of four.

One man asked another man what his favorite sport was. The man replied: " My favorite sport is golf." "Golf requires no physical strength, therefore I do not count it as a sport." Said the man who asked the question.

Why are chaos theorists so predictable? Because their arguments usually follow a logical set of points.

What's the difference between a sack of dead babies and a Mustang? I don't have a Mustang in my garrage.

how did the guy in the wheelchair cross the road he didnt he got dragged down the street cause his chair was hooked to the bus

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...