your mommas so fat she should be worried about getting diabetes

A duck walks into a bar. Animal control is promptly called and the duck is released in a nearby park in a safe and risk free process.

Why did the black man cry and scream? It's anybody's guess. He was having a rough day.

Two lions are walking down the street. One lion says to the other, "where is everybody?"

Roses are gray Violets are gray I really wish That I wasn't color blind

What do a mole and an eagle have in common? They both can fly except for the mole

What do you call an office worker with no arms or legs? A paraplegic.

Q: What's worse than a black guy with a gun? A: the holocaust

Jesus on the cross promised he would return rite? So three days later he returns in ghost form and leaves. So why people still waiting for him? He returned and left already! (Lack of Moral?): The third coming: this summers blockbuster hit!

Q: What is every blonde's ambition? A: To be like Vanna White and learn the alphabet.

A black man, a mexican man, and a caucasian man, walk into a bar with handguns. The three break out into a gun fight and everyone is killed in the cross-fire

Jerry: Hi what's your name? Bob: My name is bob. Jerry: Bob, nice to meet you, my name is Jerry. Bob: Nice to meet you Jerry.

What's tall, has a really long neck, and eats leaves? My tall vegan neighbor's giraffe

Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Although I guess there is probably no way to get on the swing with no arms unless there was another person there to aid you in the process, and that is highly unlikely because nobody wants to hang out with a girl with no arms. Still even if Suzie was helped on to the swing she wouldn't be able to swing because of her lack of arms. Maybe that person who helped her on pushed the swing with her on it bearing in mind she has no arms. In that case Suzie should stop hanging out with that person because they are very sadistic to deliberately shove a girl with no arms off a swing.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, seeing as the slaughterhouse was directly across the road from the farm where the chicken lived, the man who owned the farm led his flock of chickens across the street when they were of age and fattened up so that they could be inhumanly massacred in order to process an order of chicken nuggets.

Your feet are so big your gonna need bigger shoes.

Why did the baby cross the road? he was taped to the chicken

Riddle me this, riddle me that. I'll eat your f^cking cat.

There are 4 people in a crashing plane, but there are only 3 parachutes. But, the teenage girl says she is depressed and cannot go on. The older woman breaks down into tears because she is reminded of her rough child hood. The two 21 year old twins start crying, too, because they were corrupted by their alcoholic father who would come home and abuse their family. As they were all crying, the two pilots and the flight attendant took the parachutes and jumped. The older woman realized she went to flight school when she was young so she took control. They were are happy and drank a little bit too much alcohol and got drunk. The pilot also drunk and crashed into a huge skyscraper. This catastrophe was later named 9/11.

Roses are red,vilots are blue just wait till I poo and till i kiss you

why did Susie cry? she got pecked in the face by a goose

What do you call a man with a spade in his head? Dead.

two peanuts were walking down the street. but one was unsalted...

Knock knock. Who's there? Your bipolar aunt so don't ask again.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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