How many kleptomaniacs does it take to screw in a lightbulb? What lightbulb?

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How do you torture a turtle? If you came up with an answer to that question you are completely and utterly unethical and immoral.

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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why did the kid burst into flames cause he lit himself on fire

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What do tigers dream of when they take a tiger snooze? Mike Tyson

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Yo mama is so fat because she doesn't exercise and eats way too much calories. The reason fat people gain weight is because of low metabolism which means her body is not burning a lot of fat and instead is storing fat. A healthy life style such as playing sports, walking in a park, or eating healthy foods will benefit her from any medical complications in the future.

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What haircut did Timmy get at the barbershop? He didn't, he saved money from the barber by going through chemo.

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What do short Mexicans do after a hot shower? Dry off with a towel like everyone else,

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it was dark outside so u know what i did....went to sleep

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"Wow, that was so funny i fell off my dinosaur!" Dinosaurs went extinct in the late Cretaceous period, about 65 million years ago. Commonly believed by scientists across the world to have been caused by an ancient meteor that crashed in the current day Yucatán peninsula in Mexico. Also, even if you were around during the Cretaceous period, i assure you that no dinosaur would let you climb on top of it, let alone ride it while you're not highly terrified because of the sheer danger of the experience. Now unless you are 65 million years old, I highly doubt you laughed so hard that you fell off the dinosaur that you supposedly own.

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Jack, John, Justin, Joseph and Jimmy walk into a bar. They order a pint of beer and start wondering what their names have in common.

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Why was the girl's clitoris cut off? Her country practiced Sharia Law.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream cone? He got hit by a bus. Why did the bus crash? It hit a boy eating an ice cream cone.

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Why did little Lynn fall of her bike? Because she has no legs.

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black chicken. kfc

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What starts with "P" and ends with "orn"? Popcorn

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Why did the elderly lady cross the road? Because an atomic bomb was exploding behind her

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What happens when a fat guy falls ? Ohio has another earthquake.

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You look like Susan Boyle f**ked Snooki and then got hit by a truck.

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What funny about AIDS nothing its a terrible disease

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An animal entered my house tonight ! It could only be one thing : A bear or a dog.

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OMG I JUST FOUND THE GREATEST WEBSITE YOU SHOULD TOTALLY CHECK IT OUT OMG ITS http://anti-joke.com/submit

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have you seen Helen Keller's bird house? neither has she

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mohammed ali walks into a bar, gets a drink, signs a few autographs , and a good time is enjoyed by all.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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