Why did Tim fall out of the window? Well... he didn't exactly fall... I pushed him

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How do you call a black guy flying a plane? A pilot.

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- Mom, you have a banana in you ear. - What? Son I can't hear you, I have banana in my ear.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? What does chicken mean?

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A dancer walks into a barre

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What did Super man say when the bullets didn't hurt him? That didn't hurt.

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Whats fun about having sex with twenty six year olds? Theres twenty of them

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What brown and sticky? A sticky turd

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Why did the baby cross the road? Because he was stapled to the chicken.

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a blind man walks down the street and trips on an unsuspecting curb he scraped his knee

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Mugger: Give me all your money. Victim: No. Mugger: Okay. (Moves on to find his next victim)

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I wouldn't consider Mark a chicken. In fact, given the high speed and volume of cars traversing that particular road in both directions, I'd say it was a ballsy move. In hindsight, though, he probably should have waited for the "walk" symbol to appear for pedestrians, in order to avoid being run over by a bus. Anyway, if Pastor John would like to say a few words before we finally put Mark's body to rest...

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If a tree falls on a deaf person, does anyone care?

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WHY DONT WE HAVE BOTH?

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Rick Ross is so fat, that he is fatter than someone who isn't as fat as he is.

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like if u think princess kenny id the fairest maiden in all the land. if u havent played or watched pewdiepie play south park the stick of truth, disregard this message.

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When life throws you lemons, your first instinct is to make lemonade. Due to your severe lemon allergy, however, you will die within several minutes and therefore have no viable method of creating said lemonade. You die horribly and your death sparks a movement against the biological warfare of life.

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: b/c it was dead. Q: Why did the second monkey fall out if the tree? A: b/c it was stapled to the first one. Q: Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? A: b/c he thought it was a game. Q: Why did the toaster fall out of the tree? A: The branch snapped. Q: Why did the little girl fall off of her bike? A: She was hit by three monkeys and a toaster :( MAB99

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, No, violets are VIOLET, That’s why they’re called “violets.” Edmund Spenser was an idiot.

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Why did the cookie go to the hospital? It had cancer.

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Why doesn't Harry have any arms? Because he's a Jew.

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How do you stop a bus? Throw a little child in front of it. If the driver is a loaf of bread, this phrase isn't rather important.

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When an anvil and a feather are dropped off a building the anvil will hit the ground first because it's heavy

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops