What do you call a person driving a plane? Not a pilot, they fly planes.

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Yo mama so fat and ugly, I don't want to tell you how fat and ugly she is for fear of vomiting.

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cop arrests a jew and interrogates him Jew. i aint telling you nothing cop: really cop pours a bag of coins on the table jew: thats about $7.80 cop: you can have it if you tell us what we want to know jew: ok jew: i stole the money 123

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What do you call a man with a limp? A limping man.

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Ask me if im a tree. Are you a tree? No

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, MAKE ME EAT LEMONS, I ATE U!

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What's the difference between a Lamborgini and 100 dead babies? I don't have a Lambo in my garage.

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So a penguin walks into a bar. Penguin's have been affected by global warming so much that they decide to drink away as they near their final hours.

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nathan your cats dead now...well hopefully

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? Neither has he.

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A depressed horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse says, "Millions of years of natural selection." The horse then tries to drink away his sorrows, but the alcohol is only a temporary release from the pain he's feeling. He kills himself the next day.

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A pilot walks into a bar just before his last flight of the day. "Give me a stiff one to get through this last flight, I've had a long day," the pilot tells the bartender. The bartender promptly refuses the pilot service and kicks him out of the bar, since operating an aircraft under the influences of alcohol would at least constitute gross negligence and at worst, murder.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Sugar is sweet. You're adopted.

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A woman walks into a bar.

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Why was it sad for black guys drove off a cliff? There two more seats

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Why was the Irishman ejected from the bar? For breaching client-attorney privilege, and the correct term is disbarred.

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Why didn't the cat play with the ball of yarn? It was drowned in a toilet.

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When SCUBA diving, why is it important to fall backward off the side of the boat? Because if you fell forward, you would still be in the boat.

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One night a man layed on his bed and looked into the skies, then he realizes: WHERE THE HELL IS MY CEILING!?!?!

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did Michael Jackson touch children ? yes of course. otherwise he would have been an absolutely terrible father

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A magician tells the boy to get into the box and locks him in. He wasn't a magician.

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binladin walks into the american seals

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Which deranged adventurer thinks that (one`s unprotected cranium) is stronger than (a brick structure) Mario. he keeps bashing his head on blocks in attempts to prove his own worth

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Detroit has a low crime rate

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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