A duck walks into a convenience store and asks for a tube of chapstick.He says "Put it on my tab".

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getting a call from the hospital saying that your whole entire family was all killed in an explosion and they were killed from your best friend.

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How do you confuse Helen Keller? You don't, she's dead.

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Q. What do you call a small hen that can't lay eggs properly? A. A small hen that can't lay eggs properly.

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How did the man break his arm raking leaves? He fell out of the tree.

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dont you hate it when your reading something and it doesnt end the way you cactus

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A guy went to McDonalds and asked for a cheeseburger: —Can I have a cheeseburguer? —No

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I hate when people see me at the store and are like "What are you doing here??" and Im just like, "Oh, you know, hunting elephants..."

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An English ship lands in the New World and offers to trade with the natives. The ship actually carried foreign diseases that the natives had no immunity to, and they all died.

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What did the white man say to the black man? Did you see the game yesterday?

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Whats funnier than watching the kid next to you on the computer? Nothing because he is still trying to figure out that i unplugged his mouse!

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why did the boat sink the captain drove it into a pile of sharp rocks

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What do call the time things don't go the way you plan them? Reality. bitch

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 brutally raped and murdered 32.

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Why did the depressed man jump off the bridge? Because bungee jumping is a great activity to relieve stress.

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Two girls are in a car together. The one in the drivers seat is texting while driving. The girl in the passengers seat notices this and tells her the she should put it away in case of a risk of a collision. She apologizes and puts it away and the two of them drive to the store unharmed and continued their normal day.

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A man walks into a bar He is now in the emergency room suffering from deep lacerations to the forehead as well as a bloody nose.

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A baby crawls into a bar. He cannot walk.

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A man went back in time and warned nobody about anything and pretended to be from the time he choose to go to and lived a happy life eventually finding a wife. He later found out he had a baby on the way, he named it after his great grandfather who was a war hero. He later found out that many years later his son had a son and they named it after his grandpa. He went to the hospital where he died just as his grandson had a baby and they named it after his father. The man died. End.

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How many women does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None...they can cook in the dark.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He had to get to the other side.

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What do Justin Bieber and corn have in common? They are both fruits. Except for the corn.

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How do two blondes stay alive at the bottom of a pool for 30 minutes? They don't and they died

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What is the difference between Jason Voorhees and Michael Myers? One's name is Jason, and the other's name is Michael.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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