Why did the woman make the man a sandwich? Because the man severed his spinal cord and is no longer able to move any of his limbs.

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Why did the man leave anti-joke.com? Because he realized that it was time for dinner and the ham was burning.

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What did one dead baby say to another dead baby? Nothing... they were dead.

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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Why did the woman say ow? She was shot in the foot

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What do you call a mexican who works at a landscaping business? A hard working man who is trying to provide money for his family

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What did the teacher say to the other teacher? We are both teachers. -Del Primm

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When a fat lady walks by what do u think? R u fat or pregnant

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How do you kill a blind man, run over him in slow motion

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Whoever is reading this, I love you and I hope you have a great day.

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A blonde was taking a Math exam, so she brought her Asian boyfriend with her. It turns out they were going to his father's retirement party afterwards.

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Why did the blonde jump over the glass wall? To see what was on the other side.

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Confucius says... The superior man, when resting in safety, does not forget that danger may come. When in a state of security he does not forget the possibility of ruin. When all is orderly, he does not forget that disorder may come. Thus his person is not endangered, and his States and all their clans are preserved.

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How many electricians does it take to change a lightbulb? One.

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What is green and smells like paint? Grass, it doesnt smell like paint, I lied.

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Hey

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A woman walks in a confessional booth and proceeds to tell the priest about how she killed and ate her baby in a fit of hysteria because she is having issues dealing with her fresh divorce. The priest does not call 911.

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Knock Knock. Who's There? Nobody, this is a metaphorical door..

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Q: I have a bed, but never sleep, I have a mouth, but never speak. What am I? A: Stephen Hawking

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what do u call blue fluff? blue fluff

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So a black guy goes to college and doesn't steal anything or rape anyone. He has a 4.0 GPA and is one of the smartest students at Harvard University.

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What's black and white and nailed to the floor? A skunk that's nailed to the floor.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have amnesia! Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have amnesia! Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have amnesia! Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have amnesia......

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What one thing do the five members of Mystery Inc have in common? They were all raped and killed by REAL MONSTERS! One of the monsters happened to be Chuck Norris. He's a BEAST!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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