Roses are red Violets are blue I am a gardener

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What do you call a white guy in a mostly black neighborhood? His name.

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A hard-working man, in his early forties with slightly graying hair, arrives to work earlier every day. He values integrity and dedication. His loving wife is proud of his accomplishments and her favorite part of the day is when he arrives home from a day at the office. He is close friends with the Director of HR, because he believes that we all should be respected and treated fairly on the job. Today, there is a board meeting, which he prepared for extensively, because he cares deeply about what happens to this great company. His boss greets him after the meeting is done and says, "Great job, that presentation was even better than yours usually are." It was a very long meeting, so they both end up going to the Men's Room. What does he say when his boss corners him near the urinals and demands sex? Nothing. He doesn't like to talk during sex.

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A man walks into a bar. Three hours later, ambulances arrived, because the man was knocked out. The man who saved was known as a hero, and was awarded a medal for his good deed.

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Why did Susie drop her ice cream? Because she got hit by a bus. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

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Why couldn't Timmy enjoy his ice cream? His lips were sewn together by an evil seamstress who was mad that he stole all of her Pop-Tarts

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Yo' Mama is so fat, her driver's license says, "picture continued on other side."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know I'm not a bird physcologist

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Q: why was the gay guy sad A: Becasue he was stright.

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Knock, Knock Who's there? Boo Boo Who? Boo Smith

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How do you help a one-armed man down from a tree? Wave.

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Your moma so ugly she should go see a plastic surgeon.

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Yo mama so fat, when the waiter handed her the menu, she said "yes"

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why did Lucy fall down? she got hit with a hammer

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Chuck Norris tried to return some jeans to Target and when they didn't give him his money he kickeed them in the face.

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I don't have friends, so I'm anti-social.

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What do you do when you see a black man with half a head? Stop laughing and reload

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Why did Jimmy not go to school? Because Jimmy, along with his family, were killed in a horrible house fire. Knock Knock? Who's there? Not Jimmy...

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why did Dayrl win the wheelchair race? Because he had working legs.

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A plane crashes in a polish cemetery the authorities have found 2000 bodies

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What happens to a fish with no fin on the right side? It repeatedly swims in circle.

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What do you call a black man in a suit and tie? Presumably affluent

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knock knock? whos there? danielle danielle who? danielle the liar...hehe

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What's gay and Jewish? Henry Shine

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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