Why did Carl the cat die? he didnt. he's still alive.

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A man walked into a bar. He got a concussion and couldn't see strait for days.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Reality TV.

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Why do gingers get mad when people call them gingers? Because it hurts their feelings

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guess what? bannanas

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Why did the jew kill himself? Because he had no foreskin.

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What do you call an art history major with a job? A gainfully employed member of society, who assuredly benefited from his access to higher education (and quite possibly from acquaintances or family members within the company that employs him, though it is often considered impolite to mention this latter fact, as it may be construed to denigrate the aforementioned individual or his chosen field of study).

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What do Alzheimer patients think of the internet. Happy pi day.

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Q: what did the dog say to the cat? A: nothing dogs can't talk

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A guy walks into a bar and orders a beer. There is a frog in his beer.

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question.

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Where do you find a dog with no legs? Right where you left it.

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When I see the Viagra commercial telling you about all the side effects and they say "if you have an erection lasting for more than 4 hours, call a doctor." If I have an erection that lasts that long, I'm not calling a doctor. I'm calling my mom; who I always call when I'm sick.

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What is Rebecca Blacks favorite resurant? T.G.I Fridays...

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What did the golfer do on his vacation? He played golf.

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What's the difference between a sack of dead babies and a Mustang? I don't have a Mustang in my garrage.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: To get to the other side

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how did the guy in the wheelchair cross the road he didnt he got dragged down the street cause his chair was hooked to the bus

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Why are chaos theorists so predictable? Because their arguments usually follow a logical set of points.

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Have you heard the one of the two headed man an the horse? Neither have I

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Roses are potatoes Violets are potatoes I like potatoes Potatoes.

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What did the businessman do to get a promotion? He traded oral sex for his male bosses kind heart...

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What's the difference between a picnic table and a Mexican? A picnic table can support a family of four.

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One man asked another man what his favorite sport was. The man replied: " My favorite sport is golf." "Golf requires no physical strength, therefore I do not count it as a sport." Said the man who asked the question.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops