What did the businessman do to get a promotion? He traded oral sex for his male bosses kind heart...

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A man came home one day, drunk and feeling horny. He proceeded to the bedroom where he found his wife just getting into bed in a lace bra and sexy underwear. This turned him on even more so he cuddled up to her and whispered seductivly in her ear before kissing her neck. His wife was not in the mood for sex so she shot him

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the jew kill himself? Because he had no foreskin.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What do you call an art history major with a job? A gainfully employed member of society, who assuredly benefited from his access to higher education (and quite possibly from acquaintances or family members within the company that employs him, though it is often considered impolite to mention this latter fact, as it may be construed to denigrate the aforementioned individual or his chosen field of study).

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What is Rebecca Blacks favorite resurant? T.G.I Fridays...

thumb_up thumb_down +14

When I see the Viagra commercial telling you about all the side effects and they say "if you have an erection lasting for more than 4 hours, call a doctor." If I have an erection that lasts that long, I'm not calling a doctor. I'm calling my mom; who I always call when I'm sick.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What did the golfer do on his vacation? He played golf.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Where do you find a dog with no legs? Right where you left it.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What do Alzheimer patients think of the internet. Happy pi day.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A guy walks into a bar and orders a beer. There is a frog in his beer.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Have you heard the one of the two headed man an the horse? Neither have I

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: To get to the other side

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What's the difference between a sack of dead babies and a Mustang? I don't have a Mustang in my garrage.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

how did the guy in the wheelchair cross the road he didnt he got dragged down the street cause his chair was hooked to the bus

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why are chaos theorists so predictable? Because their arguments usually follow a logical set of points.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

whats white and smells like onions? an onion..

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Your momma is so black, that her melanin levels are relatively high.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

But that just reinforces the negative stereotype that women don't have penises.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

if you have 5 oranges and 15 ice cubes, how many pancakes can you fit on the roof? red, because aliens dont wear shirts.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

whats the best kind of chocolate bar? a larsbar

thumb_up thumb_down +12

what did the little girl with cancer get for christmas? cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? Getting yours asshole clawed by a grizzly

thumb_up thumb_down +12

I insist, you go ahead. See you around. how about in four six hours?

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops