Hey how is your wife and my kids

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Why did the woman make the man a sandwich? Because the man severed his spinal cord and is no longer able to move any of his limbs.

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How many alcoholics does it take to change a light bulb? Look. I just enjoy a few drinks every now and then. I mean, I can quit whenever I want to. That's no reason to start people calling names.. Wait, no. That's not.. Look. How much do you drink every day, huh? Why not ask that? And why do I have to be the one changing your stupid light bulb? If it's sooooo important that the light bulb be changed, do it yourself, you lazy bastard. Don't rely on other people to do your work for you.

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What's worse than finding a dead baby in a dumpster? Recognizing the baby as your missing child, and finding the corpse of your dead wife next to it.

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A: Knock Knock (waits for an answer) oh there's no one in.

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What's the difference between Jesus and a painting? It only takes one nail to hang up a painting.

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Why was the kid dizzy? He ran in a circle repeatedly.

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Faithful men.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? Neither has he.

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What did the man do when he got home from work? Hit his wife.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Your mother. Please open the door. Your mother who? You were adopted.

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what looks about a computer which has two wheels? a bike. i lied about the computer...

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Doctor! Doctor! Everyone seems to be stealing things! Piss off, I am a doctor not a detective you prick.

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Q: What happened to the fat man on the roller coaster A: The roller coaster went slightly faster due to the laws of gravity

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Why was a black man in a police car? He is a police officer.

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No antijoke here.

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2 doctors are talking to each other: -Dead? -Dead.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, Or so the tell me, Because I'm Blind

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Knock knock. Knock knock. Knock knock. I'm hammering nails. Knock knock.

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What's the difference between a leopard and a coffee table? There is no difference. They both have four legs.

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What's the diffence between a pieace of fried chicken and a Jew? A Jew wouldnt scream in a fryer.

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Q: Why did the plane crash? A: The driver was a loaf of bread

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Whats worse than the Holocaust? Anal

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Q: whats white and smells like shit A: my ass

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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