knock knock... who's there... i dont know i aint got a house

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Why did Mia fall off of Lucy's bike? Because Lucy didn't like Mia and shot her in the face.

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What do you call a prostitute with morals? Ironic.

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why was 7 afraid of 6?that is impossible it is older than six and stronger than its mother

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What do you call a dog with two tails? ...Depends what its name is.

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9 + 10 = How much yo mama makes.

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What do you call a schizophrenic Clown surrounded by 10,000 Amish gangsters, all armed with dildos? I don't know, but it would be a heck of a sight, wouldn't it?

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roses are red, violets are blue, {insert name here} is f**ked up, (s)he want to have sex with you

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

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Why did the mother stop breastfeeding her son? Because he was twenty five.

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kennah campion... being nice

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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Skeletons neither have muscles nor brains to control any muscles and therefor cannot transport themselves across a road or any stretch of land for that matter.

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Pianos.

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Ouch, a papercut .. what could be worse? A hatchet cut.

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Why did the guy die. He OD on drugs

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be. He could not be. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. He's either in great danger or has a psychological disorder.

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I dont think i could ever stab someone, I can barely get a straw through a capri sun

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A cripple and a Jew walk into a bar. They sit down and begin to discuss all the stigmas that they have faced their entire lives. The conversation goes on for an hour, at which point a black man walks in. Just then, the bar explodes and they all die.

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What do you call a mailman who doesn't deliver mail? Unemployed

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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No, Sarah. You know your hooks scratch the keys.

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Knock Knock Nobody Nobody who? Nobody, did you not hear what I just said.

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why did the boy die? because he got shot

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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