A homeless guy walked up to me and said "Any change?", to which I replied, "Nope, your still homeless". We laughed and laughed. The he stabbed me.

What did the mother of the boy with cancer say on his birthday? - Happy Birthday, too bad you still have cancer.

What did the mental patient say to the apple? She didn't say anything because she was a catatonic schizophrenic.

Q: What's purple and eats desks. A: My dog.

How do you discover a gay snowman? If the carrot is in the ass.

Q:John has 50 candy bars and he eats 45, what does john have? A: Diabetes

What do you call a group of geese? A giggle

When the world ends what would be the death toll It would be unknown since every one would be around to calculate it

Q. What is the difference between Jesus and and a picture of Jesus? A. It takes one nail to hang the picture Not trying to offend anyone just a joke to be clear

Why did the deer cross the road? To cause the car crash that killed my father when i was just 15 years old.

how did the blonde get a concussion? she didnt see the pole in front of her.

3 guys are walking in the woods there are 3 paths they each take a path. the first path lead to a shed that said blowjobs 25 cents the second path lead to the same place after they all made it threw the first guy said he got a blowjob so dose the second guy. the third guy said i made 50 cents

A man walks into a bar and poops his pants. He left because of the embarrassment.

Women, "Did just pinch my ass!?" Man, "Yes." Women, "Oh, alright then."

Q: What Did Batman Say To Robin Before He Got In The Car? A: Get In The Car

Roses are red, Violets are red, Tulips are red, Dandelions are red, I lit your garden on fire.

Why did the black man jump out of the plane? He was going on a parachute dive with his friend.

What kind of doctors would you call A 30 year old chimpanzee? I would say "Plastic surgeon" but that would be unscrupulous to the chimpanzees because the tearing off or "lifting" of the owners face is because they are just animals. And should have never been kept in captivity that long anyways.

I wumbo, you wumbo, he, she, wumbo, wumbology the study of wumbo

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Penis

Knock knock. Who's there? Penguin. Penguin who? The penguin who apparently lives next door and somehow developed the ability to successfully interact with other species through gesture and retoric.

why did the chicken cross the road? who cares?

Why did the woman cross the road? Better yet, why is she out of the kitchen

What's Red, Smells like Blue Paint, What tastes like the sea, and has been doused in the essence of the 80's? If you can come up with something, don't bother; This is a trick question. The space was to give you time to think. Forget your answer.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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