DON'T TOUCH MY DUCK, IT HAS A ONE DOLLAR BILL

thumb_up thumb_down +5

There was a blonde, brunette, and a redhead. They are spending a relaxing afternoon together as a result of being restricted to their heavy therapeutic sessions which they are constantly in need of because all three have been diagnosed with clinic depression since everyone jokes about them so much and in conclusion, they don't see each other very often.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Did u know that 10/10 people die?

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Diarrhea

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Me

thumb_up thumb_down +5

what's worse than being hiv+? having full blown aids.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Somebody has robbed your house, how do you gather evidence? Look for traces of watermelon or chicken bones.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why was Jimmy so bad at jumping rope? His father's car ran over an IED back in 2009. Jimmy had lost his legs in a tragic explosion.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How did the man die? A gorilla raped him

thumb_up thumb_down +5

what did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? Christmas presents.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Psychic wanted. You know where to apply.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Yo momma is so fat that she is overweight

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's funny about a black person, a Jew, and a mexican's graves being side by side? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

My girlfriend wanted to talk about her feelings ... SO I TOLD THAT BITCH THAT... i really loved her and care about her feelings

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What happened when the woman sent back the pair of shoes she bought on eBay? She obtained a refund from the seller under eBay's return policy.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

So seriously you have never ever played videogames before?

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Your momma's so stupid she stuck a power cable up her ass. Shortly after she died

thumb_up thumb_down +5

In an effort to bond, the American president and North Korean Supreme Leader place a bet on a football game. If the President was correct, the Supreme Leader would have to buy them a drink, and vice versa. The game is close but in the end the President's bet wins. He asks for the drink, but the Supreme Leader refuses. An argument breaks out, and lasts for several hours. Eventually the Supreme Leader becomes too infuriated, and leaves. So the next day, North Korea declares war on America and launches nuclear missiles towards them, millions of lives are lost, and the world descends into anarchy.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What do you call a white man sitting between two black men on a bus? A group of three people having a friendly conversation about the upcoming football season.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Q.What do you call a friend with benefits? A. a buck fuddy.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

If you took all the veins in your body and laid them end to end, you would die.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A black man walks into a bank with a gun and askes where the safe is then procedes to shoots 3 white men inside of it. Everyone thanks him for stopping the armed bank robbers and he lives out the rest of his life in happiness for he is a hardworking cop and risks his life to save others.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why is wood brown Because wood is brown

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What do you call an earthquake on Mars? There is not enough water on planet Mars for something like that to happen.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops