I violate everyone that do not thumb me green, and vi0late the children, the parents, and the person of those that thumb me red... Its not about the sex, its about the domination... You might even like it...Your kids? Not so much... Well sometimes... Green thumb me, and I will... Meh, then you are awesome... friendly r*pist neighbourhood Moral Man: Subscribe below, address tracker activated... LETS GO!

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A guy walks into a bar carrying an octopus under his arm. The bartender asks him, "say, buddy, what's with the octopus?" and the man replies, "this is the most intelligent octopus in the world. In fact, I bet you $100 that it can play any instrument you give it." The bartender snickers at the other patrons, and puts $100 on the bar. He motions the man over to the piano by the wall. The man puts the octopus on the piano, but nothing happens. The octopus is dead, because it's been out of the water for a while. The bartender looks at the man sadly, as two psychiatric orderlies from the local mental hospital take the visitor away to the looney bin, after another patron called the police. The bartender never gets his $100, and now he has to clean up the godawful mess on his piano.?

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The horse replies, "I just found out my wife has cervical cancer."

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Santa isn't real

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What did I say to my mum this morning? Good morning.

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It is better to have loved and lost, Than to have fallen, bleeding, into shark-infested waters.

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What's the meaning of life? I forgot to write it down.

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Get a life besides thumbing down statements telling you advice.........

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What did Voldermort say to harry potter? i raped you mum last night!

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How does it change many dyslexics to take a lightbulb

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Why did humpty dumpty fall off a wall? Well it turns out that he was a raging psycopath. to add on, he was also a suicidal

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If there's something strange in your neighborhood, who you gonna call? The Police.

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Q: What's worse than getting jury duty? A: Getting herpies from a rabbit

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Most poems rhyme, But this one doesn't.

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What do you call a black airline pilot? An airline pilot.

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What's the difference between a pizza and a baby? I don't stab pizza 47 times in the chest with a chainsaw.

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whatt dont w do you call a person with legs that dont work Crippled

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What did one muffin say to the other muffin Holy shit a talking muffin

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Why did Susie fall off the swings? Because she was hit by a truck.

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Say the line below all very fast to get sudden strange sensation... Magic-ish. I like to find threes and peel of their... BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK... ...BARKBARK BARK BARK BARK BARK! Done? Now sit Down, have a little treat Good boy/girl! :Look well at the sun, the jagged Blackness will consume all, Your little star forever but a ever fading memory.

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Why did the boy get his head slammed in a car door? Because his mother did not love him, and thought it was an appropiate action.

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What gets louder as it gets smaller? A baby in a trash compactor.

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what happens when you step on a bear trap? Alot of pain.

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The song Barbra Streisand has more than 2 words.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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