What did the African-American toddler from Compton get for his birthday? Most likely nothing, seeing as his father left his mother briefly after his birth, and his mother uses all of her money to feed her heroin addiction.

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How do you get a elephant in a fridge? You open the fridge and put it in. How do you get a Rhino in a fridge? You take the elephant out and then put the rhino in. All the animals in the animal kingdom are at a meeting, what animal isn't there? The rhino, his in the fridge. How do you cross a river full of alligators? Walk across the allligators are at the meeting.

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Roses are green violets are brown wait a minute..........my shoes untied

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Lady: I think you guys would be very happy here. Chandler: No no no no no no! No, we're not together. We're not a couple, definitely not a couple! Joey: You seem pretty insulted by that. What? I'm not good enough for you? Chandler: We're not going to have this conversation AGAIN!

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what did the left eye say to the right eye? "eye" see you

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What did the little boy say before he succumbed to cancer? Nothing. It was too painful.

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What did spongebob say to patrick? Im ready! im ready!

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Chuck Norris was so good at karate that he held the middle weight world title for 6 years and was named fighter of the year by Black Belt Magazine. He also used his talents to start a successful acting and advertising career.

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A little boy had a candle by his bedside. It fell over. The candle was fake, and it didn't burn down his house. When he woke up, he picked up the candle, put it back on his nightstand and had a wonderful day.

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Whats Worse then finding a worm in your apple. Finding a real joke on anti-joke.com

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My grandfather slipped on a banana peel. I helped him up.

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What do you call Bob if he gets a nose ring? Bob

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how to turn invisable. eat yourself

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What did the little kid say to the stranger? Nothing. He was taught not to talk to strangers.

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Q: What did Michael Jackson do while he was preparing for his newest world tour? A: He died.

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If your canoe is stuck in a tree with no headlights, how many pancakes does it take to get to the moon. False, snakes don't have armpits

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Touche.try eating something, I eat low carb crap when I am too sleepy, and today I guess it works.

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A man walked in a bar and asked for 10 shots. (not descriptively) The bar tender got his gun out and shot the man 10 times. Another man asked for three stabs at it. The bar tender stabbed him 3 times. The last man asked for a bomb load. The bar tender gave him 100's of granades. Then the man bombed down the bar with the bar tender inside

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A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god."

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yeyeyeyeye live action

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ive been a naughty girl, and i need something to plug my hole. call or text me;) 1 (802) 299-5281

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Hey, I just met you, And this is crazy, But I have a gun, So get in the van

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Why did the man eat a human heart? Because he was part of a dangerous, religious cult.

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How do Germans treat the Jewish? Kindly, and with much hospitality.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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