Why didn't the little girl show up for school? Because she was dead.

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A kid asks his mom: "Mom, what would I be when I grow up?" And so his mother answers: "You won't grow up, you have cancer"

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What's black an white and red all over? Two dead babies, one African American and one Caucasian split in half by a chainsaw.

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Why did the man throw the baby at the brick wall? I don't know, but that is a tragic incident and I will now go mourn.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?". The horse does not respond because it is a horse. It can neither speak nor understand English. It is confused by its surroundings and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

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How many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb? several.

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my friend got in a car wreck,he lost his left arm and left leg. how is he now? Hes all right.

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Ever heard of carpel tunnel? Well after that girl it was more like carpal toungal

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What do a turtle and an eagle have in common? They can both fly. Except for the turtle.

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How do you stop a black man from drowning? Take away his glass of water.

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How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2. One to firmly hold the ladder and the other to cautiously screw it in. They are volunteering at the local orphanage and it is wrong to make fun of there religion. We are all different in our own special way. ernkso

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What do you call a fat, ugly kid? An unloved child.

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Mom mom momie mom mom mom mom momie mother mother. What! Hi.

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how do you make a plumber cry? you kill his family!

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Your Mom was so fat he made herself Liposuction Twice

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If Bob has 65 sweets and he eats 57 how many does he have? Bob has diabetes. He has high blood sugar, either because the body does not produce enough insulin, or because cells do not respond to the insulin that is produced.

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What do you get when you cross a cow with an elephant? A deformed organism

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a man and his son pull up out side b&q and the man says to his son run in there and get me a black n decker and the boy goes in and is standing in the power tools isle and he looks round and there is a lady standing next to him so he hit her, the woman happened to be black and 2 minutes later a security guard rushes round and says son what did u do that for and the son said my dad told me to come in and get a black n decker!

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An irish man and a lebanese man jump off a cliff who wins? No one it wasnt a race

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Why does the cow eat grass? A: Because it's green. (Cows are colorblind)

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A man is walking down the street in Chicago. A man in a car pulls up next to him and asks him, "Excuse me sir, how do I get to Carnegie Hall?", at which the man on the street said, "Go straight here, turn onto Birch, follow that to the second stop light, then turn left on Main, big complex, can't miss it." "Thank you!"

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My girlfriend said she doesn't like anti jokes and now i'm single ha ha just kidding.... she's dead

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Why did Jimmy not go to school? Because Jimmy, along with his family, were killed in a horrible house fire. Knock Knock? Who's there? Not Jimmy...

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Why do deer have horns? Because god made them that way.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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