Jake: Where's Waldo Me: Where? Jake: I don't know

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Why are you gay? Because ***** you

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I was hungrey then i saw a man puke. Im still very hungrey. Then i threw up. Im not so hungrey

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What starts with "F" and ends with "UCK"? Fuck.

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My great grandfather died in a concentration camp. The poor guy fell off the guard tower.

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What did the little boy get for Christmas? Cancer.

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What do you call a blonde that just got hit by a school bus? Dead.

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Why the long face? My face isn't long, it's the same shape as everyone else, retard. I meant why are you sad. I'm not sad.

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Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? It was probably a cold day.

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John walked up to his dad one morning and shouted, "Dad, it's my birthday!" Dad said, "Cool, how old are you?" John says, "I'm seven!" Dad tells him to go downstairs and tell his grandpa. John runs down and says, "Grandpa, it's my birthday, guess how old I am!" Grandpa sticks his hand in John's pants and sticks his thumb into his anus. As he pulls his hand out, he pinches his penis. Grandpa says, "You're seven." John says, "How did you know?" Grandpa says, "I heard you tell your dad upstairs."

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Hey, in case you are around and still wonder how he got out. Anonymous tip from yours truly, if he had remained there, you would all have taken the blame. Just stay away from the deep web, and I wont be forced to come get all of you as well. For a long while I was suspicious that you might have been leaking information regarding me and all of us, but then the rules changed and information regarding Point Zero, subtle hints and such, began spreading, it has been removed, nobody will know what Intel was sold, so yeah, he was a mole, he is no more, for this I am sorry.

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One day, while a blonde was out driving her car, she ran into a truck. The truck's driver made her pull over into a parking lot and get out of the car. He took a piece of chalk and drew a circle on the pavement. He told her to stand in the middle and not leave the circle. Furious, he went over to her car and slashed the tires. The blonde got angry and called the cops, who proceeded to come and arrest him.

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Knock knock Who's there? The police, your family is dead.

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hey guess what? what ur gay! how did you know ive been in the closet for 5 years!?

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What did Al gore say after he sold his TV Station to Arab Oil Money? HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. CHA-CHING!

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If life throws you lemons, what do you do? Well unless life throws you water and sugar also, hen your lemonade is gonna taste horrible.

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What's the difference between a lamp?

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Why was the girl crying? She had just been severely raped.

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How do you call a guy that ran over 10 children A bad driver

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Why did the black guy have a bunch of marihuana? He was the owner of a shop that sold it for medical purposes.

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Q: How do you confuse a blond A: You don't they are born that way

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Chuck Norris never shows emotion!!!... because he is a pragmatic person and thinks in a more logical manner.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I can't rhyme The end

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Why did god make women? Because women are equally important when it comes to the birth to maintain or species.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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