Knock Knock. Who's there? Your landlord your being evicted we need you out in 2 weeks.

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How can you tell the difference between a cow? One says moo

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Why did the horse say moo? Because it's a cow

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What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One's fun to smash with a hammer and the other one is a watermelon.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The police, you murdered ten people.

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A blind man walks into a bar, bystanders help him up.

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What do you call a jewish person at a construction site? A builder

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Why was sally crying? She could hear her parents having sex.

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Knock-knock Who's there? Orange Orange who? Knock-knock Who's there? Orange Orange who? Knock-knock Who's there? Banana Banana who? Banana you glad I didn't say banana?

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What happens when you ask a blind guy to drive you somewhere? What happens if you ask a blind guy to drive? You will end up in a four way accident with 8 people dead 2 of which children and 1 baby. You might survive but the blind guy won't so you will have to go to court for him on the issue. You realize that you are terrible when it comes to the law and you get yourself thrown in jail for 2 years. When you get out you are so tired of getting butt raped that you go out and do it to someone else. Then you go back to jail an the process repeats it's self because this is the American justice system. We could work on it a little bit. But yeah, don't ask a blind guy to drive, your butt says thanks.

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You know what rhymes with sloth? Rape.

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Why was the boy sad? Because his pet bird couldn't fly. Why couldn't the bird fly? Because it was dead.

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You know what's funny? You got AIDs

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Why is travis so funny? Trick question, He died of cancer 3 years ago.

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How many frogs does it take to change a light bulb None. Frogs lack the cranial capacity to change said lightbulb. If eventually by evolution they become smart enough to change lightbulbs, they may learn to handle machinery and pose a real threat to humans.

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if bought jim bought 78 sweets and he eats 68 what does jim have left? diabetes

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A doctor tells a guy: "I have bad news. You have Alzheimer's, and you have cancer." Guy says, "Thank God I don't have cancer."

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whats similar between a chicken and an alligator they both gobble except for they alligator

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What happens when you lay a diamond in the water for two hours? It gets wet.

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A man walks into his room with a DVD and a box of kleenex. The DVD is a wedding video of his now dead wife.

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why was the black man scared of cats ? Because a gang of cats ate his family

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how do you prevent a chicken from contracting aids?? you make him a little chicken condom.

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What happens when your scared half to death...twice!!? Nothing, being scared half to death is an expression, you should not be fearing for your life.

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Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven has an extra penis

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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