Your mother is so nice, I saw her while grocery shopping and we pleasantly chatted. She also remembered my name and invited me to come over sometime and have a snack.

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why was the little boy crying? he was at his mother's funeral.

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why couldn't randy turn on his computer? randy is blind and had mistaken his refrigerator for his computer.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken was trying to escape from the sad and depressing environment that surrounded him on the side he thus came from. Alas, he did not know that he would be soon hit by a drunk truck driver, who would also die, in a bright explosion of morbid flames and screams.

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Why was the little Asian boy crying at the county fair? He had just watched his entire family get brutally crushed beneath the weight of the old ferris wheel as they went to get on. Never would he forget the painful screams of his mother as her blood splashed onto his white t-shirt. Never would he forget the police car ride to the foster home when it all sank in that they were truly gone. And never would he forget the abuse his new parents would inflict on him daily. But what would forever torment him most were those screams. Those persistent screams that woke him in the night until the day he died many, many years later.

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What is worse than torture? Not much.

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There is a wizard standing on a street corner. A boy walks up to the wizard and says, "Can you turn invisible?" The wizard replies, "Oh, I'm not a wizard. I'm a hobo with a long beard and a bathrobe." The hobo then proceeded to begging the boy for money.

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I have to tell yo people a story and you have to answer it. Q/S(Story):There once was a boy by the name of aids. He had aids because he had aids. He dad had aids, his mom had aids his whole family had aids. How did he die? A: He got hit by a bus you heartlest basterd.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse says nothing because it is a horse and doesn't understand English. It gets confused about it's surroundings and gallops out of the bar, upending a few tables along the way.

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A man walks into me and I say: "WATCH IT PUNK!"

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Q: Why do geese fly in a V? A: It's more aerodynamic.

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What's the difference between Harry Potter and a Jew? Harry made it out the chamber.

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What happened to the man who went to a strip bar? What happens to all of us. He died.

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Psychic wanted. You know where to apply.

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Fact: Nine out of ten Americans believe that out of ten people one will always disagree with the other nine.

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"You know what sucks?" "Vaccuumes?" "You know what metaforically sucks?" "Black holes?" "You know what just isn't cool?" "Lava?"

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Who is stupid and no one likes him. Me. :(

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Knock Knock Who's there? Probably

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Jesus can can WALK on WATER, but Chuck Norris can SWIM in it.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? He wasn't.

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Why was little Tommy scared? Because he'd just been abducted by a psychopathic rapist.

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What do you do when a blonde throws a grenade at you? Pull the pin and throw it back at her

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What happens when you Shoot a guy with a red Shirt On? He Dies.

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Somebody has robbed your house, how do you gather evidence? Look for traces of watermelon or chicken bones.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops