Why wouldn't anyone want Helen Kellers dog? It's been buried for a long time...

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What do you call cheese that you don't own? Cheese.

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What do cows in Africa say? Moo

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Why is Stevie Wonder called Stevie Wonder? Wonder where I am.

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Jimmy: I'm like hey, what's up, hello. Jon: I've already met you.

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What has two legs? Half a cat

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Knock Knock. Who's There? Look through your peephole, you lazy bastard.

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star wars kid

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What did the man with aids say? "I'm dying and there is nothing you can do about it"

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What's the difference between Mel Gibson and a pineapple? Well at a molecular level, not much because both are made up of atoms.

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So a horse walks into a bar. The rancher immediately contacted medical help, and with a little teamwork, the horse was treated and revived.

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What does a hooker eat for breakfast, lunch, and dinner? Food.

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Why did the boy get hit by a wrecking ball? Because he picked up an upside down penny.

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HOW TO RE-AD : FOR DUMMIES. (HELLEN KELLER ADDITION)

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A man walks into a bar, and is brutally slaughtered by eight drunk customers.

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A frog and a toad eat a pie and then realize it is weird and then die.

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Why did I lose a card game to a cat? Cause he was a cheetah!

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How much wood would a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood?  The woodchuck's ability to chuck has been left indeterminable. Therefore until the wood chuck's prowess in wood chucking is brought to light we must leave it a variable. Using the coefficient (L) to represent wood that can possibly be chucked. Then using (C) to represent the life cycle of said wood chuck chucking. We are also assuming this woodchuck will remain vigilante and not require food or sleep for the entire duration of chucking ultimately lowering is maximum chucking output. From this we can determine the W.C.P.S. (wood chucks per second). Finally subtract the remaining wood (RW) from the chucked total and we have rendered that :  L(W.C.P.S) - (C -RM/t) = X

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Roses are red, violets are blue. i have Alzheimer's, cheese on toast.

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What did the Muslim say to the Jew? Nothing, as he has been deaf since birth and is incapable of forming coherent speech.

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Charlie Sheen Walks Into a Rehab Center.....

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where is my tractor?

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Knock knock? Who's there? Set up. Set up who? Punch line!

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Why did the blind man have a poo Because he needed one.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops