How do you make a baby crawl in circles? Nail its hand to the ground

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what happens if you toss a grey stone into a red sea? it gets wet...

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What does a sailboad and a walrus have in common? Nothing.

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What is Alqueida's favorite football team? The New York Jets.

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it died. Q: Why did the dog fall out of the tree? A: Because it was tied to the monkey.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: To get to the other side.

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There are two jews in an oven. One says "It sure is hot in here" and the other says "AHH A TALKING JEW"

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are you MC Donald's because I'm lovin' it!

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What did the zero say to the eight? I don't know,numbers are inanimate objects so they can't talk.God, what did you think?

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A blind man walks into a bar, and a table, and a chair.

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But that just reinforces the negative stereotype that women don't have penises.

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"Mommy! Look, I found a turtle!" "that's no turtle." "Oh..."

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wanna hear a clean joke? bob took a bath with bubbles. wanna hear a dirty joke? bubbles was a man :) i heard this somewhere and it made me laugh :)

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Your momma is so black, that her melanin levels are relatively high.

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what did the little girl with cancer get for christmas? cancer

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Two chavs jump off a cliff, who wins? Neither. Leaving aside the fact that two people would jump off a cliff in any kind of competitive context is highly improbable, due to the laws of physics objects fall at the same speed and therefore both people would hit the ground at the same time, meaning that, unless either of them deployed a parachute mid way through, they would, in fact, be in a dead heat.

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I insist, you go ahead. See you around. how about in four six hours?

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whats the best kind of chocolate bar? a larsbar

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Q: What do you call a black man that's flying a plane? A: A pilot.

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if you have 5 oranges and 15 ice cubes, how many pancakes can you fit on the roof? red, because aliens dont wear shirts.

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whats a parkour kid? someone who jumps off things and is a pre-teen with adhd

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What is the difference between Sarah Jessica Parker and a horse? Sarah Jessica Parker is a human being who is also a very skilled actress A horse is a animal which is usualy kept in a barn

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why did the chicken cross the road? it was making its way home after a long day of luckless job interviews

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What's worse than the Holocaust? A Holocaust survivor. --ZeNaziGermanDoctor

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops