What do you call a blue and black dot on the wall? A fly wearing blue jeans.

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Did you fall from heaven? Because I seem to notice fractures to your knee, spine and a possible permanent risk of poor posture.

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why does david stutter during meetings. because he smiles till his cheeks hurt

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Your momma is so fat that she's developed a cardiovascular disease and has 5 weeks to live

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What do you call a Fly with no wings? Dead.

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I was going to type an anti-joke but I totally forgot how it starts. It goes something like something something something something something your mom's a whore.

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Q: What's black and blue and is all over Timmy's mother? A: The bruises his father gave her when he came home drunk.

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What do men and parking spots have in common? Both often have cars on top of them. Vehicular manslaughter is a serious issue.

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Why did the chicken die? Because it was crossing a busy road.

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How do you tell a crazy man that he is on fire? You're on fire.

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Wha'ts the difference between Justin Beiber and a piece of hot muff garbage? Fart triscuits.

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How many cans does the average alcoholic drink in one night? None. Cans are solid and therefore cannot be drank.

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Q: Why did the plane crash? A: The pilot was a potato.

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how many shit jokes do you need to make before you realize that random does not equal funny? TOO FUCKING MANY

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Why couldn't Jack join the football team? Jack has down syndrome

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Hitler: A jew walked into a bar... jokes, it was a gas chamber

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why did Susay fall of the swing? Cause she had no arms

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Hey i just met you and this is crazy, but heres my gamertag so party up maybe?

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What do you call a black man with big cuts on his arms? You call an ambulance to help him!

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What's red and invisible? No tomatoes.

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How do you drown a blonde? A: Drowing any person no matter the color of their hair is conpletely illegal and considered murder.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was forced by the man with a gun.

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Why are Mexicans so good at jumping, swimming and running? They aren't. You're just racist.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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