Why was Timmy strong? Because his dad injected steroids through his asshole.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? I've lost my tractor!

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A man drives down the road in a van that says "Candy" He was doing his job in a professional manner

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who can be more evil than the person who hit my nuts. Adolf Hitler.

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How many dogs does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None. Dogs don't have thumbs.

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What is the difference between a circle and a cylinder? dunno

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A horse walks into a bar, Bartender says why the long face? and the horse says, i have horse aids

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How do you keep black people from your Kool-aid? How? You put it in a safe-deposit box.

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someone tell england that a depressed guy smoking a cigarette is not a movie.

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How do you drown a blond? You hold her underwater.

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Hey, you must be a parking ticket. Because you are on the windshield of my car.

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What's the name of Hellen keller's dog? She doesn't have a dog, she's blind and deaf and would not be able to give it the adequate amount of care. Additionally, it's morally reprehensible to make fun of Helen Keller.

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Why didn't susie use the jump rope She had no arms, replied carl No, susie doesn't like using jump ropes replies the mother

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Women's rights

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Little Anny fell on a sidewalk. Why isn't she crying? 'Cause I've thrown her out off the tenth floor.

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"I see!" said the blind man, as he picked up a saw and hammer.

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A kangaroo walks into a bar, he hops up to the bartender, and asks for a martini. The bartender, not knowing exactly what to do, goes into the back to his boss's office. He says "Hey, there's a kangaroo up front askin' for a martini...do we serve kangaroos?" His boss replies "Ya, of course, but these kangaroos, they aren't too smart, so charge him like 50 bucks for the drink." The bartender agrees and goes back up front to serve the kangaroo. He pours the martini and hands it to the kangaroo, the kangaroo thanks him and says "How much do I owe you?" The bartender replies "50 bucks." The kangaroo then reaches into his pouch, pulls out a fifty dollar bill, and puts it on the counter. He finishes his drink and begins to hop away. As he is leaving, the bartender says "Hey, wait, we don't get many of your kind around here, why is that?" And the kangaroo replies "I'm not surprised at THESE prices!!!" and hops out.

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Knock knock Who's there The police The police who? Ma'am your son is dead

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Ask me if I'm a cucumber. Are you a cucumber? No.

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Q: What's funnier than rape? A: Many things such as murder or nuclear warfare.

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A girl walked into a bar and sat next to a man. She asked what he was drinking. He said something that makes you fly. She didn't believe him. He then went up to the roof, jumped off and walked back in the front door. She got the drink then tried to jump off the roof, and died on impact. The bartender said to the man "You're a real asshole when you're drunk superman."

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Why did the boys shout ZACHATTACK? Because zach was attacking

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How do you get a black man out of a tree? With a ladder.

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Yo momma so fat, when she went out side in a red dress, everyone yelled "HEY, KOOL-AID!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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