What happens when lady gaga and chris brown jump into the pool at the same exact time. They get wet

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Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

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Whats the difference between a soccer ball and a baby? Babies cry when I kick them.

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a black guy, mexican guy, and asian guy race to hop over a window. Who was the LAST one to hop it? the mexican because he had to clean it first.

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Whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? Jews undergo metabolism, maintain homeostasis, possess a capacity to grow, respond to stimuli, reproduce and, through natural selection, adapt to their environment in successive generations. More complex living organisms can communicate through various means.[1][5] A diverse array of living organisms (life forms) can be found in the biosphere on Earth, and the properties common to these organisms—plants, animals, fungi, protists, archaea, and bacteria—are a carbon- and water-based cellular form with complex organization and heritable genetic information. Pizza does not.

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Do't you just hate when a sentence doesn't end how you think it will and it just octopus.

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A man walks into a bar with a couple of chickens by his side. He sees a man sitting at the bar drinking a beer. The man who's drinking the beer offers the other man a seat, and asks him to join him in the drinking. The other man hardly refuses and takes the glass from the other man and throws it on the with all his power to the floor. The man sitting at the bar asks him why he did it. The man answers: "My chickens don't like beer"

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Did you know Hellen Keller had a tree house? Yeah..neither did she.

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where do you hide a black mans paycheck? somewhere he would never find it

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Q: What's the difference between a child dressing as a ghost for Halloween and a real ghost? A: About a tablespoon of arsenic.

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there is nothing better than waking up to realise that your being hugged by your partner unless that partner is not home

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What did the ocean say to the shore? Nothing, water and sand are incapable of speech. Unless of course you are Harry Potter in which case you can cast a spell on them and turn them into a cat which still couldn't talk and them from there you could wait for them to evolve which doesn't actually exist so you would have to ask God and then you would wait for a few years than they could say hi.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because if he stayed on the farm, he would have been condemned to a miserable life, subjected to deplorable living conditions and an eventual pain-filled death by the hand of a cruel and heartless farmer. Crossing that road was his only chance of salvation.

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Male orgasm (haha bitches we've been faking it)

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What did the chicken say to the butcher? Moo.

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I once was an adventurer like you. But then I quit.

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Why do gingers smell so bad? So the blind can hate them too

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Why didnt sally throw out her lunch? Her mom had a miscarriage, she was never born.

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knock knock, who's there me me who he opens the door a kills yo

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Two blondes were in a parking lot trying to unlock the door of their car with a coat hanger. They had left the keys inside and no-one was around to help.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Ya. Ya Who? Dot Com.

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why didn't the girl like that one guy? he hurt her, hurt her real bad.

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What's harder than steel? Beating Tetris. What's harder than diamond? Beating Tetris...

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Roses are Blue, Europe is Yellow. I suck at poems, Refridgerator

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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