Why did the chicken cross the road? He was forced by the man with a gun.

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What do you call a black man with big cuts on his arms? You call an ambulance to help him!

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why did Susay fall of the swing? Cause she had no arms

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How do you drown a blonde? A: Drowing any person no matter the color of their hair is conpletely illegal and considered murder.

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Hitler: A jew walked into a bar... jokes, it was a gas chamber

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What's red and invisible? No tomatoes.

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How many cans does the average alcoholic drink in one night? None. Cans are solid and therefore cannot be drank.

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Why are Mexicans so good at jumping, swimming and running? They aren't. You're just racist.

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how many shit jokes do you need to make before you realize that random does not equal funny? TOO FUCKING MANY

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Q: Why did the plane crash? A: The pilot was a potato.

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Hey i just met you and this is crazy, but heres my gamertag so party up maybe?

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Why couldn't Jack join the football team? Jack has down syndrome

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Hey, you must be a parking ticket. Because you are on the windshield of my car.

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why did a guy try to rob me? because he was black.

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Why did Gavin kill Harley. Because his voices told him to.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

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whats red and bad for your teeth... A brick.

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how do you wake up lady gaga? set her alarm for a reasonable hour

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If a tree falls in the woods, how many animals lost their home to deforestation?

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what's the difference between a jew and a pizza? a jew is a member of a religion called Judaism, they're generally tall and have curly hair, however not in all situations is this true. They celebrate Chanukah and passover and many other holidays. Pizza is an italian dish, it's round, has red sauce and cheese on it and is pretty tasty.

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what does michael jackson do to little boys? nothing, he's dead.

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it was dark outside so u know what i did....went to sleep

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Whats the difference between a jew and firewood? Firewood is meant to be burned in a stove or firepit while jews are functioning members of society.

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"Wow, that was so funny i fell off my dinosaur!" Dinosaurs went extinct in the late Cretaceous period, about 65 million years ago. Commonly believed by scientists across the world to have been caused by an ancient meteor that crashed in the current day Yucatán peninsula in Mexico. Also, even if you were around during the Cretaceous period, i assure you that no dinosaur would let you climb on top of it, let alone ride it while you're not highly terrified because of the sheer danger of the experience. Now unless you are 65 million years old, I highly doubt you laughed so hard that you fell off the dinosaur that you supposedly own.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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