Why couldn't the baby play with the blocks? It died during birth.

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these guys im about to shoot owen,john,henry,shawn

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What's white and has a crusty nose? Luke Lange

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what's bloody and sweet? A squashed mosquito sprinkled with sugar.

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What's purple, smells like an eggplant, and looks like an eggplant? An eggplant.

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Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? The Pterodactyl species became extinct 65 million years ago, and thus if you saw one today, you would be immediately taken into a mental hospital.

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What would happen if the whole world farted at once?

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What did the fish say to the Asain man Nothing. a fish can not talk

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ok when a fat person say he on a diet i said your on a sea food diet what evert you see you eat now get back to school John f kennedy students

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Boy Scout? Boy Scouts come back from camp.

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Was the last joke funny? Because this one isn't.

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A black man "walks into" a club. Several minutes later he is dead. The police, in a later press conference, refuse to admit that the club ever left the officer's belt.

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I used to think skyrim jokes were funny. Then I took an arrow to the knee.

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What did the three year old say when he dropped his milk? Shitting buggery!

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Why did the monkey fall from the tree? Because he was dead.

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An Indian, American and French man walk into the bar simultaneously. Unfortunately, they get stuck in the door.

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What did the Apostle John say to Jesus of Nazareth? "Oh, blow it out your butthole."

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What's worse then finding a worm in your apple? Women's Rights

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How do you get a black guy out of a tree? You don't, he just jumps down.

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What is not a car park? Clash of clans

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What do you call a secret agent that lives in a bottle of washing up liquid? Bubble-0-7

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There was a girl that got on the bus . The bus started moving as soon as sat . The bus driver looked up at the window and saw the girl coming closer . Every time she came closer , the more he looked , the girls nose kept on bleeding more and more . When the girl was right next to the bus driver , he started to shudder in fear looking forward , knowing that she is there . When he looks to his right , the girl looked at him , then looked at the window . And started to pick her nose .

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Yes you better be sorry, I'm gonna suck my mums p e n i s tonight! - Dylan Hodge

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"Horse walks into a bar. Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from. So, you should probably leave."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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