Why did the grandma stop baking cookies? Because she is an aging widow suffering from depression because her family seems to forget her existance as she barely lives day by day wilting in her 1 bedroom home.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

what did the guy say to the goose? i know you don't understand but my life sucks. my wife just dumped me for another man and my kids hate me. thank you. you are the only one to understand.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because blind people aren't allowed to drive in the United States.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Have you heard that Bert & Ernie from Sesame Street are gay? If so, than whoever told you may be mentally challenged, Bert & Ernie are both puppets which even though they resemble people with active personalities, they remain puppets and do not have a sexual oreintation.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What's love like? Some people say it's like a lotus flower, others say it's like an orchid... Personally I'd like to say it's like a fire at the bottom of you're soul-- like when people sin and go to hell... that fire burns forever???

thumb_up thumb_down -19

So there we were, climbing Mount Kjerag and we take a break. So I decided to tell you a joke. "Isn't this nice, just hanging around? See it's funny because we're suspended over 1000 metres in the air by our harnesses, except that you're not because I cut yours and now you're falling and you're gonna die." But I had done all that before I told you the joke so you didn't hear me and now I'll have to cut my harness and try to catch up to you so I can repeat myself. Great job, ya prick.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Riddle me this, riddle me that. I'll eat your f^cking cat.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Myth: Everyone but redheads has a soul. Fact: No one has a soul.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A handless Asian boy was riding his bike through the park with some friends. One of his friends puts his arms in the air and yells "Look! No hands!" The handless boy rides his bike home, crying and thinking about how one day he would like to say, "Look! No hands!" without people getting nauseous.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Hey dude. who died.... crickets crickets crickets crickets crickets crickets crickets crickets YO MAMA

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A hooker walks into a bar. She orders a few drinks and leaves. She's a man.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Person A - you must be tired, cuz you've been running though my mind all day Person B - i have no legs...

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What's worse than nailing 10 babies to one tree? nailing 1 baby to ten trees.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A man walks into a bar. He I then taken to the hospital for a major head injury.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A man asks his doctor if you can die from drinking to much water. The doctor replies 'Yes you can'

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Dad, why do people say mom is a nympho? No idea son, try asking one of your other dads.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

If it's mid-july and there are flying cows everywhere, how many bacons does it take to impregnate a spaghetti ? 3, because because vases can't swim in the dark.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What did the boy say to the elders at the senior center? Dayum, you're all ugly!

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did the black man have a gun in his hand? He was crossing through a dangerous neighborhood and was offering protection to himself and his family.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Q: A vandal walked into a bar. What did the bartender say? A: Nothing, the vandal had covered him and the bar in pritt stick before he had the opportunity to speak, then left with his penguin accomplice, Reginald the third.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

whats brown and stickey? a brown stick

thumb_up thumb_down -19

it ain't easy being cheesy Max Harrison

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A dyslexic man walks into a bra. He is promptly arrested for sexual harassment.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

what does a slim jim taste like? there is no answer because everyone has a different amount of taste buds

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops