Roses are red. Violets are blue. Sugar is sweet. You're adopted.

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A pilot walks into a bar just before his last flight of the day. "Give me a stiff one to get through this last flight, I've had a long day," the pilot tells the bartender. The bartender promptly refuses the pilot service and kicks him out of the bar, since operating an aircraft under the influences of alcohol would at least constitute gross negligence and at worst, murder.

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nathan your cats dead now...well hopefully

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from the farmer that was trying to kill it.

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How do you call leprechaun with leprosy? Sick.

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Why did the Mexican cross the road? Because he was late for his uncle's funeral, which was taking place in the church across from his apartment.

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What do you call a person driving a plane? Not a pilot, they fly planes.

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What do you call a man with a limp? A limping man.

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What is the worst party ever? Nazi.

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96

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, MAKE ME EAT LEMONS, I ATE U!

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Why was the Irishman ejected from the bar? For breaching client-attorney privilege, and the correct term is disbarred.

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One night a man layed on his bed and looked into the skies, then he realizes: WHERE THE HELL IS MY CEILING!?!?!

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Why did Hitler shoot himself He saw his his gas bill

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A woman walks into a bar.

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Why was it sad for black guys drove off a cliff? There two more seats

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A magician tells the boy to get into the box and locks him in. He wasn't a magician.

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binladin walks into the american seals

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When SCUBA diving, why is it important to fall backward off the side of the boat? Because if you fell forward, you would still be in the boat.

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Why didn't the cat play with the ball of yarn? It was drowned in a toilet.

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What do Jay Williams, Lebron James, Candace Parker and Maya Moore have in common? They were all winners of the Morgan Wootten Player of the Year Award.

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Q. What did the woman use for vaginal medication? A. Standard Strength Vagisil.

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Why did the little boy fall off the swing? Because he had no arms. Why did no one help him up? Because nobody liked him.

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Which deranged adventurer thinks that (one`s unprotected cranium) is stronger than (a brick structure) Mario. he keeps bashing his head on blocks in attempts to prove his own worth

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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