Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Skeletons neither have muscles nor brains to control any muscles and therefor cannot transport themselves across a road or any stretch of land for that matter.

what happens if you toss a grey stone into a red sea? it gets wet...

My granddad fell down the stairs the other day... Yeh, we didn't find it very funny either.

How do you make an electrician cry? Kill his family.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Daisy's are white, Metallica.

A white man got injected by Heroin at a party and got instantly addicted.

Your mum is so ugly that i make jokes about how ugly she is

A man begged for forgiveness, for a sin commited Jesus forgave him, Jesus loves you

(To the pretty girl at the bar) "Was your father a thief? Because I really would like to have sexual intercourse with you."

Midgets' mouths are perfect height for, kissing other midgets.

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, That's what they tell me because I'm blind.

Q:why is walmart so big? A:Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping and affordable low prices. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of Walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory .

A little blind girl goes up to her mum and says, "Mummy, mummy, when will I be able to see?" Her mum replies "I'll tell you what, I'll take you to the chemist and get you some special cream for your eyes and you will be able to see in the morning." So off they went to the chemist, got the cream, and went home, all the while the little girl was getting more and more excited at the prospect of being able to see again. Once they got home, the mother put the cream on the little girls eyes, wrapped a bandage around her head, and took her to bed. The following morning the little girl stumbled into her mums bedroom and excitedly shouted "Quick mummy, take off the bandage so that i will be able to see again." So the mother slowly took of all the bandages, taking her time, and all the while the little girl was getting more and more excited. Once they were off the little girl said "But mummy, I still can't see." To which the mother replied, "April fool!"

I have to tell yo people a story and you have to answer it. Q/S(Story):There once was a boy by the name of aids. He had aids because he had aids. He dad had aids, his mom had aids his whole family had aids. How did he die? A: He got hit by a bus you heartlest basterd.

What do you call a guy who stabs cereal? A cereal killer.

#Last Christmas I gave you my heart #And as far as I know #The transplant was a complete sucess #And you have recovered from your operation #And are now well again #This year to save me from tears #I'll donate my kidneys

a man checks his mypsace

A Muslim man gets onto a transatlantic airliner. All the other passengers are privately nervous, but no one mentions it.

How did the person die? He got hit by a car.

Whats The difference between a baby and a watermelon? One is fun to smash And one is a watermelon

Why are gay guys so good at being gay? The black guys told them too.

Why did the rose look so brown? Because it was dead

an american walks out of a strip club.

Yo mamas so poor, she should probably find a source of consistent payment to support herself.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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