They say time heals all wounds, yet my leg still had to be amputated.

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Knock, Knock... Whose there? No one... you have no friends.

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Roses are red violets are blue i have aids and now so do you

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How do you kill a mime? Shoot him in the face.

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"This is the best of all possible anti-jokes," said Pangloss.

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What you call it when 8 goes over 4? An improper fraction.

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What's long, hard, and contains semen? A submarine.

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Snake: YES muahaha Eve eat the fruit from the three of wisdom muahahaha! Why do you not share with Adam? Muahahaha! Snake: Why is nothing happening? Then the sky opened and a heavenly voice spoke: "Well as long as none eats fruit from the three of KNOWLEDGE... Hmm, I better get rid of it altogether..." Snake: FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!

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Why could the penguin not fly? It was shot in the wing.

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A black man and a white man were in a fight. Who won? I don't know. It was pay-per view and I didn't buy it.

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What's black, smoking, and sitting at the top of the stairs? Steven Hawking after a house fire.

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why does pink turn into blue it doesnt you just get hit by a frigde because you cried whe you got shot several times

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what do you call a fat man standing in the middle of the street a fat man

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This is SPARTA! SPARTA? THIS IS MADNESS! (kicks guy down well) What is hurt! Baby dont love me, dont love me, no more. Moral: The funny thing is probably that the line makes a lot more sense all of sudden does it not?

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How do unwed mothers celebrate Mother's Day? The same way all mothers do.

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Why did Jimmy pass out Cause he drank a full tallboy

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Why did the man give money to the Jew? Why would a man give money to a Jew?

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What did one lawyer say to the other? Your son's coming to my son's birthday party, right?

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Knock Knock Who's There Mailman Mailman who? Sir, I don't have time for this, take your mail.

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whats the difference between 10 Ferrari's and 10 dead babies ? i dont have 10 Ferrari's in my garage

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what's worse, ten babies stapled to a tree or one baby stapled to ten trees?

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what's worse than pie? alot of things.

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How do you stop a train? You stand in front of it.

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Boy it's sure cold out today. Die

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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