What did the famer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?!?!

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why didn't Johnny have any food left? Because he ate it all.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, That's what they tell me because I'm blind.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A cat walks into a bar. The bartender says "What would you like to drink?" The cat says "Meow."

thumb_up thumb_down +10

How much does a polar bear weigh? Depends on the polar bear and its dietary habits

thumb_up thumb_down +10

why was Lucy fat? Her BMI was over the recommended average.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Daisy's are white, Metallica.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What do you call a group of black people in a lamboghini..... Unlikely

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Andoni was here

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What's the difference between a cow? Trick question—cows eat carrots!

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, as it was locked safely in the chicken coop.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Error 37.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did the deaf girl get for Christmas? Nothing, she was Jewish

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Haikus are easy But sometimes they don't make sense Refrigerator

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What starts with F and ends with U-C-K? Firetruck

thumb_up thumb_down +10

How do you get a baby to stop crying? Hit it with a shovel 17 times

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Death by kayak

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do a cow and a banana have in common? Neither of them is a police officer.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put my cøck in your mouth. Submitted by Arsha K.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

i asked my friend about the holocaust... umm it turns out hes a jew yaaa sorry then i screamed califona fire asin tits then ran

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the husband and wifes marriage fail? The husband slept with many other women and is putting his family through a hellacious situation.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Yo mammas so fat she wears big clothes!

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do you call a Muslim on the moon? An astronaut

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops