I dont think i could ever stab someone, I can barely get a straw through a capri sun

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Roses are red violets are blue monkeys like you belong in the zoo but don't be afraid I'll be there to that in the cage but laughing at you

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whats worse than four babies in a box? one baby in four boxes

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What did the passive-aggressive woman do to her husband? She killed him. As it turns out, the slight passive-aggressive behavior she was showing was actually an early warning sign of a dangerous sociopathic mental disorder. The authorities are looking for her as we speak and will soon have her institutionalized.

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Where did Mary go after the explosion? Everywhere.

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Knock Knock Who's There? Poop. Poop who? HAHAHAHAHAHA you said poopoo

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whaT DID HEVEN SAY TO THE FRIDGE hAVE YOU GOT A COLD

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what did Shivank say to Ricky? "you suck dick" HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAH

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Yo mama so fat, when the waiter handed her the menu, she said "yes"

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The little girl asks her father "Daddy why is santa fat?" "you have to exist to lose weight" he answered

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How can humans fly? Well if you run and jump of a cliff...nevermind you would just smash your face on the ground. I guess that isn't technically flying.

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ah-ah. the proper response to an anti joke.

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Q: What's worse than your parents dying in a car crash? A: You were in the backseat and saw your mother plead your father to slit her throat witht he broken glass because her legs were brushed and a windshield wiper was shoved in her kidney. As you stared on in pure horror, your father did as she asked with much contemplation. An ambulance arrives moments later. In the hospital, you tell your dad that you hate him for killing mom. You run away and he dies overnight due to heart failure. Yo suffered paralysis and now and are confined to a wheelchair for the rest of your natural life and are sent away to a born-again foster care home where you are never adopted.

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A man stumbles up to the only other patron in a bar and asks if he could buy him a drink. "Why of course," comes the reply. The first man then asks: "Where are you from?" "I'm from Ireland," replies the second man. The first man responds: "You don't say, I'm from Ireland too! Let's have another round to Ireland." "Of course," replies the second man. I'm curious, the first man then asks: "Where in Ireland are you from?" "Dublin," comes the reply. "I can't believe it," says the first man. "I'm from Dublin too! Let's have another drink to Dublin." "Of course," replies the second man. Curiosity again strikes and the first man asks: "What school did you go to?" "Saint Mary's," replies the second man, "I graduated in '62." "This is unbelievable!", the first man says. "I went to Saint Mary's and I graduated in '62, too!" About that time in comes one of the regulars and sits down at the bar. "What's been going on?" he asks the bartender. "Nothing much," replies the bartender. "The O'Kinly twins are drunk again."

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roses are red violets are blue if i had a gun i would shoot you

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POOP.....People Order Our Patties

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How did the chewy cross the road ? it was stuck to the chickens foot.

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Gorillas are black, Roses are red, Were out of milk, GET THE F**K OUT!

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What do you call a white guy? A caucasion man.

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Q: Why did Suzie fall out the swings? A: She had no arms. Knock Knock! Who's there? Not Suzie.....

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot, you racist.

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What Happens when you kill a dragon? Nothing, there not real.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No. Well, neither has he.

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What happens if a guy is gay? You call him Verl.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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