a burglar walks in a house the alarm goes off and the police come

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The Chinese government. The way they treat their citizens just isn't funny.

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Why couldn't the turtle swim? Because he went too close to an oil spill, the petroleum got into his mouth and coated his lungs and he is now dead.

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Want to hear a funny joke? Not really.

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A man walks into a bar. He leaves a large rucksack by the pool table and walks out. The rucksack then explodes and kills 13 people because it is the height of the Troubles and the man is a member of the IRA, who targetted the bar because it is regularly visited by British servicemen. The media extensively cover the story, and the two sides of the conflict in Northern Ireland decide that the bloodshed must stop, which eventually made way to the Good Friday agreement of 1998.

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why doesn't anyone like reed? who cares, no one likes reed

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What do you call a girl with one leg? Eileen

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What happens when you mix a platinum blond with a black kid? A young african-american child with un-naturally died hair.

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Roses are red. Violates' are blue. Hitler is my homy.

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Why did the penguin die? It got eaten.

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what is black and green and rainy all over? the democratic republic of congo

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Roses are red, Violets are purple, not fucking blue.

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Why couldn't the Muslim eat pork? He didn't have a tongue.

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What did Ann Frank say when she dropped her icecream Nothing because she was captured by Natzis

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A comedian walks onto the stage. Antehumor.

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knock knock Who's there Rick Rick who Your wife's boss she got into an on the job accident and will never walk again... I'm sorry but your insurance doesn't cover the injury.

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What is the best part about having sex with tweny-six year olds. There are twenty of them. ap~pac

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What do you call somebody who can't walk? Handicapped

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house Knock knock Who's there? The chicken

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What's big fat and hairy? Peter

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What happened when the turkey jumped out of the airplane? It fell.

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Why did the squirrel fall out of a tree? It was dead. Why did the second squirrel fall out of a tree? It was cruelly stapled to the first one.

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I recently sent 10 puns to a joke website, hoping that one of them would win a competition. Unfortunately, they were deemed offensive.

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What did the black man say when a blond walked into the bar? " Hi Molly"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops