I remember the last words my grandpa said before he kicked the bucket. I bet I can kick this bucket. He missed and had a heart attack.

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a man walks into a bar, when he leaves he thinks he can hold his liquor and kills a mother and two children attempting to drive home.

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Horse walks into a bar and the bartender says why the long face. The horse unable to understand English shits on the floor and leaves

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A man walks into a bar, the bartender says, "why the long face?" the man replies, "my wife has terminal cancer and has been given 2 weeks to live."

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Barbara Streisand

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Simon says why the hell are we playing Simon say!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

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I was taking a major shiit in the bathroom stalls at the college and someone walked in on me, talk about awkward

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Lady: I think you guys would be very happy here. Chandler: No no no no no no! No, we're not together. We're not a couple, definitely not a couple! Joey: You seem pretty insulted by that. What? I'm not good enough for you? Chandler: We're not going to have this conversation AGAIN!

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What did the homeless man get for his birthday? AIDS

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A dimetrodon, a pterosaur and a chicken walk into a bar. As they enter, the bartender says "Hold it! We are not licensed to serve dinosaurs." "I am not a dinosaur," said the dimetrodon. "Neither am I," said the pterosaur. "But I am," said the chicken. So the dimetrodon and the pterosaur enjoyed a cold beer each, but the chicken had to wait outside.

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Why shouldn't you go to California? Because there are sharks there, obviously.

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How does a t-rex eat spaghetti? He didn't he ate a velocaraptor instead.

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Q-Whos the best server at Sonic? A-Kevin !

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what has four legs but cant move? dead dog

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once upon a time a guy thought he wrote an original anti joke but it wasnt

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what do you call 69 babies in one room? a room full of babies

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what did the orange say to the apple? hi

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I'm Stephen Hawking, and I'm a PC.

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A man walks into a bar and probably sustains serious head injuries and possibly a concussion as most bars are usually made out of solid metals such as iron or steel and is therefore not permitted by his doctor to engage in sports or other rigorous activities for an allotted period of time depending on the degree of his injury.

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What did the man say to his friend when he beat him in a game of billiards? Good Game.

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Why was the man in a great deal of pain? Because he was hit in the face with a sack of potatoes.

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Whats worse than a man who has had a hard day at work, he goes to a bar and gets drunk, he goes home and beats his wife? I his wife was fat and had cancer

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Why didn't the Country club waiter enjoy iced tea? He's simply always had a preference for warm beverages. He assumes this goes back to his infant days when his mother would massage his belly with warm porridge.

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Doctor, people dont notice me anymore, doctor?... HEEEEEEEEEEEY!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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