A man walks into a bar. He hasn't been there before, and it's a Friday so it's really crowded, and it's really quite a dive, so he and his girlfriend decide to leave and find somewhere else to eat.

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Did you see Stevie wonders house? Neither did he.

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If Alex Maitland reads this he is gay

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A man looks both ways before crossing the street. He gets hit by an airplane.

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How do you make a plumber sad? You kill his family.

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whats worse than catching your parents having sex? having sex with your parents

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Kid: Mom I'm gonna dig a hole all the way to China! Mom: That's sweet but it's impossible dear. You'll get to tired after awhile to go any farther. Also, by any chance you did dig really deep, you would melt and die if you got the the center because the magma will kill you when you get to it. Alright son? Kid: What?

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A baby seal walks into a club. He immediately escorted out because babies are not allowed in clubs.

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In Soviet Russia, there was a population of approx. 293,047,571 people. It was dissolved in 1991, it is now know as Russia or the Russian Federation.

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What word is always spelled wrongly? None of them. Every word has been spelled right at some point.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane. A pilot.

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What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? We're both lawyers

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So there is a muslum, then he flew a plane into a building and died a sudden death. But he was wearing a helmet.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Shit on her face

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I just wrote three jokes on antijoke.com ... nope, make that four.

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Have you seen Hellen Keller's dad? Neither did she

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A black guy, a mexican, and an arab are all in the same car, Whos driving the car? The black guy because he politely offered and his friends were happy to ride with him.

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A bear comes across some people on a camping trip. But he then promptly leaves, because bears aren't inherently aggressive unless caring for their young or if they are provoked.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Sugar is sweet. You're adopted.

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A man has a parrot who repeats everything the man says. He constantly complains about his mother-in-law and everytime he says her name it follows with the word bitch. One day she makes a suprise visit and he greets her with a "Oh hello Doris" , he looks in horror to see if the parrot will call her a bitch but instead finds the parrot dead because he forgot to feed it for 4 days.

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Why did the student fail his test? Because he has AIDS darragh hamilton

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I saw Scarface uncut last weekend. It was called Face

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Is Mike here? Mike Hunt? Has anyone seen Mike Hunt? Yes teacher, he is home sick with the flu.

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OMG SOHPIE IS SOOOOO GREAT AT BLOWING Josh Brown xoxo

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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