Two elephants were out flying. Then one elephant said to the other: My grandmother has a pink toothbrush!

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What's the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa Clause? Tiger Woods is a well-known golfer and Santa Clause is a mythical man who delivers presents to young children.

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Do not use your phone, I repeat DO NOT USE YOUR PHONE, at this point we do not know enough, as for this kid, he is about two minutes from getting his ass locked in a nice prison, I told them he does not know anything, and I will make sure he does not squeal, you should be good, even if I got to take care of him.

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What's the difference between a pizza and a girl? I've stuck my penis in a pizza

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How did the Mexican get into the united States of America? He was an american citizen, just of mexican descent.

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A: Knock Knock (pause) B: Please use the doorbell, it is very late and I like to be considerate of my neighbors

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What is pink and stuffy? Pink stuff

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 6 and 7 are non-living objects and cannot show fear or anger.

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What is the key to a good anti-joke? A disappointing or intellectual punch-line said in a calm and passive tone.

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*Knock Knock* Who's there? "Justin Bieber" And you let him in because he's a young talented singer.

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Why did the monk shave his head? So he's more aerodynamic.

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Mom now that I am fourteen can I get a bra now? No Harold!

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Why do thieves shower before undertaking a robbery? Probably part of their morning routine.

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Do you know what's funnier than 24? 25

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was blind.

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What do you call a red ballon? It depends on its color duh!

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So you are a giggler huh? You ticklish too? Anyway, you ever watched Deathnote? I was gonna ask something kinda important but it disappeared, so you tell me stuff first. Oh, my parents? Well, they where nice and sweet, but lets talk about something cruel and horrible. (If you switch up nice and sweet with cruel and horrible and the opposite, you will get the picture I am trying to pain here) What makes me so much more interesting huh? And why are you afraid you may look like an Alien? HEEEEEY! I am a legal citizen and I am not freaking Mexican!

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Who cut the cheese? It's sliced so evenly.

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what didn't Jon go to the movies? He tripped and broke his neck and cant look up

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why was 6 afraid of 7 7 was a serial rapist with a anger problem

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Why was the man worried? because he had a shotgun up his ass

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How did Chris die? Bush-fire

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Lol, first of all all I watched was something called Chobits many years ago, and while I know what hentai is, I cant say I watch that a lot or not really at all no... A peek but, its just too weird for me, they all look like cute kids with deformed bodies or something. What? You into Nerds now? Why cant I just wear my contacts and look somewhat less alien?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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