What did Helen Keller get for Christmas? Glasses

thumb_up thumb_down -25

A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Your mama so fat she often lays awake at night wondering if you father is happy with their sex life. He isn't.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

You wanna pop a bottle? I hope you are referring to bottles of water as I am underage and I refuse to partake in any said consumption of alcoholic beverages

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What do you call it when a multiple personality disorder person masturbates? Rape.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

A black guy and a Hispanic guy are in a car together. Who's driving? The black guy.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

A: Knock Knock B: 7

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Y R U A B? I don't know why I am a bee.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

How Dow you make a baby stop crying?? Hit it with a brick By smash45

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Q: Why did the 10 year old squirt his dad with the water hose? A: What to year old WOULDN'T?

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What did the girl say to her ex? Fuck you.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Why did the boy chuck a fridge at the other boy? Because he broke his toy train.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

why was the little boy happy? Because he wasn't in the penn state locker room.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

your so fat. your fat!

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What kind of drugs should you take when you are too stressed? Fabulous secret magic drugs, makes all your problems go away... TRY IT! try it! TRY IT! try it! TRY IT! try it! Warning: When you take drugs, you are taking a very big DRUG.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

every cloud has a silver lining

thumb_up thumb_down -27

what did the nail say to the hammer? Hit me baby one more time

thumb_up thumb_down -27

There was an Englishman, a Scotsman, and an Irishman. Now there's millions of them. And women too.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Whats the diffetance between a river and a waterfall? One is vertical!??

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

jsahgfvdjfhgdehv? oiyduhgfdushy

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What's the difference between Republicans and Democrats? There is a series of boxes which one can choose to check on a ballot, officially registering an individual with a certain party. Available parties include the Green Party, The American Communist Party, The Republican Party, and the Democratic Party among others. Republicans choose to check the Republican box, Democrats choose to check the Democrat box. Also Republicans are closet homosexuals and Democrats are terrorists.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Why black people are so good at football? Because they have white feet.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops