Why did the pumpkin stop using the jack hammer? Pumpkins cannot use power tools since they are nothing but an orange gourd. But, [for sport] say this ‘pumpkin’ was incarnate; one could assume he was done with his demolition work. He then would return the portable drill to the rental facility and get his deposit back.

If John has 10 packs of beer and he drinks 8 packs,what is John left with? Morbid Obesity.

What was the little boys least favorite part of Christmas? Getting raped by his uncle.

What do you call a popular rap and hip-hop artist? Tunde

Why did the little girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

Technically rainbows are white.....and have gold at the end.

Ok is 25 really funnier than 24 because i think 8008 or 5318008 are way funnire tahn 24 or 35 just saying

How many dead kids can you fit into a plastic bag in your trunk? Ask Kasey Anthony

Yo momma is so poor when she went to the bank the teller was like " you have no money."

"Hey have you seen Stevie wonders car. Neither has he.

whats worse then finding a worn in your apple the holocaust whats worse then the holocaust two worms in your apple

A: Rock! B:Paper! C: Siccorz! D: Shoot! D: Jimmy, you alright buddy? I didn't mean for that bullet to hit you man..

If little jimmy has five candy bars and he eats three, what does little jimmy have? Diabetes

Hitler, Mussilini, And Hideki Tojo Walk In To A Bar Mitzvah, Everyone Was Brutally Murdered & No One Survived.

Do you know whats funny to say to someone unless they're black. Your ma's in jail.

What's green and has wheels? grass... i lied about the wheels

What kind of king has 2 heads? A card!

Tommy was excited to get a tattoo of a falafel on his wiener. He got skin cancer.

Why can't Micheal J Fox draw a perfect circle? Because he has Parkinsons..

A horse walks into a bar. The barman says 'who the f*ck let a horse in here, get it out now'.

women's rights

Why was the chubby bird that you were staring at you angry. Because you were looking at him.

What is the first letter of the alphabet? A. a B. 7 C. Mustard gas D. Because a penguin has 2 legs

I like my coffee like i like my women ... With big titys

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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