Friend's sister: how many seconds are in 12 o'clock Friend: alot Friend's sister: WELL THEN 12 O'CLOCK IS A REWERJAJSBDKDJDHRJRJFHFKRJRIDBDKSBSDJ *slams door*

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Why did the old man get the anti aging cream ? He failed 8th grade 50 times.

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Yo mommas teeth are so yellow that.....I reccomend she see a dentist.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? William. William who? You friend...William...you invited me over.. Can I come in?

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hey chris what yu doing wit my back pack? using it..

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An old man walks into a bar. He drinks 3 beers and dies. The bartender calls paramedics but when the police came they arrested the bartender for beating his wife. A few hours later an earthquake destroys the bar and everyone was evacuated and many were injured. The manager was driving to the scene but has a car accident with the ambulance. It was such a bad day.

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A group of 8 paintbal professionals land on an island to battle another paintball team. The team is then faced by a challeng of the other team ambushing them. Everyone is okay and not touched. A case breaks the window of the bus they hide in. They open the case and find a bullet proof vest. A man placed the vest on himself. They made it one by one out of the bus and to the otherside of the field the man with the vest was shot and started going... eghegeheghdjrhherbehgh and they pulled out a real gun bulet. They were now under attack by an enemy with real amunation. Then next man to run across the fied was killed. Tehy ran fr their lives.

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A murderer walks into a bar with a knife. He then stabs seven people and is then arrested shortly after.

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You are in a sealed room with Joseph Stalin, Osama bin Laden, and Hitler and have a revolver with two bullets. Who do you shoot? None of them. You awkwardly set the gun down and wonder how to get out of this room filled with three corpses.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A pizza has cheese on it.

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Evil Witch: Hey Snow White, want an apple. Snow White: No thank you, I just ate, I'm good. Evil Witch: But its good! Snow White: No thanks, I'm good! Evil Witch: Ill put caramel on it!! Snow White: NO THANKS! Evil Witch: FINE!! The Evil Witch then pulled out an AK - 47 and violently murdered Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.

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Roses are Red grass is greener every time i think of you i touch my weiner

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Why has there never been a Mexican on the moon? Because Mexico's government funding for their space program is insufficient to take them all the way to the moon.

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What did muscleman say to his dad? You know who else is my dad? MY MOM!

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Why was the family sad? Their house burnt down.

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What do you call it when you kill a Jewish homosexual? Murder.

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why can't Michael Jackson bake a pie???? Because he's dead

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What red, white, and blue? A white person who was raped by a clown.

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Knock knock, Who's there? Pizza hut delivery service, here's your pizza, Thanks.

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I like my coffee the way I like my women.....without a penis.

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Q: Why did the boy fall of the swing? A: He had no arms.

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why did bob fall off the swing Because he got hit by a microwave

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What do you call a gay Chinese math teacher? A gay Chinese math teacher.

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What's worse than your console not switching on? A mutilated body.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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