a. get me a drink b. a would but but i got no arms

Jo Brand no longer looks like a ball sack draped over a football.

Whatever tomorrow brings, I'll be there. Just kidding because today brought terminal cancer.

Your momma's so ugly, she has endure self-esteem issues relating to her appearance that have plagued her since grade school.

What comes after 7? Pedophiles.

What's do you call two bulls, a goat, and a horse? Farm A nimals

what did Tim get for Valentimes day? nothing, no such day exists. spell check

don't do anything i wouldn't do first

Why didnt Timmy Go to school? He Died.

Nero, sure you are okay?

Why did the blonde ask her doctor if she could get a new butt? She is insecure about its appearance and believes reconstructive anus surgery is the only solution.

what do you do when a blond throws a grenade at you? run

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

Knock knock! Who's there? A doorbell-salesman

What's Hitler's favorite drink? Jews (meaning juice)

Guy 1 : "I like your hat." Guy 2: "That's my hair, you moron."

salad days!

What about the cool kids down the block. Their friend just died with a serious health condition.

What do you call a fat zombie? Dead

Mary had a little lamb, The nurse and midwife fainted. Because last year she met a ram, And they got too acquainted.

What is red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

Q. I look in a mirror. What do I see? A.My reflection

Do not use your phone, I repeat DO NOT USE YOUR PHONE, at this point we do not know enough, as for this kid, he is about two minutes from getting his ass locked in a nice prison, I told them he does not know anything, and I will make sure he does not squeal, you should be good, even if I got to take care of him.

Just want to know where I will be dipping my... MANFLESH!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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